scary stuff

[desolationangel]

i just had to vent... a close friend of mine's good friend just got raped at gunpoint in her own house, along with her sister. the event has really shaken me, and my friends now want to go out and buy pepperspray or something. i hate that these things happen in the world. i hate that we females have to be afraid to go walking alone at night, i hate that i have to call someone to pick me up if i stay at the library too late, and i hate that i can't go to a party if my bf's out of town because i'm afraid of getting assaulted...

the world is so scary. be careful, please.

[misq17]

That's really scary :hug: I hope they recover quickly, both emotionally and physically from the attack.

[msbunnicula]

I am sooooo sorry that your friend and sister were victimized like that. :hug:

[catgurrl978]

:hug: Thats horrible! Just reading about rape in the Lovely Bones gave me nightmares :(

[Thalia]

That's horrible. I think it is important to be safe. I'm super paranoid and always stay aware of my surroundings, keep my doors locked at all times, have weapons, and walk confidently with my head held up and make sure other people know I know they are there. On the other hand, don't go so far that you avoid doing things you really want to, or the rapists and assaulters and muggers of the world have already won.

[bethanie]

I am the single mom of a daughter and I have to say, I ALWAYS stay safe. I consider our safety above anything. But, unfortunately, in this world, safe or not...bad things still happen to good people.

However, at least in my belief...in the end, you get what you give out. I don't know if that helps you in terms of your friend. But it's always been my expierience that the universe gives you back exactly what you give to it.

Hugs.

B

[Rebel Girl]

this is so horrible. Rape is the worst thing someone can go through, it honestly is. Please be strong and be safe, and tell your friend and her sister that we will be praying for them. i highly reccomend some kind of selfdefense training for anyone, you dont want to get caught in a situation like this ever. and im so sorry, i really am.

Take Back the Night.

[IamJen]

On the other hand, don't go so far that you avoid doing things you really want to, or the rapists and assaulters and muggers of the world have already won.

:up:

I'm so sorry to hear about your friend. Is she okay (physically, at least)? Glad to hear she has some good supportive friends around her. :)

[desolationangel]

she seems to be okay physically, which is a relief at least. but as far as emotionally is concerned, i'm not sure how to help her, you know?

[kat]

Just be there for her as much as she needs you. She will be going through a lot in her head and may need time, she will talk if she needs to. A woman was raped in my town about a week ago, and I had to walk home late at night by myself- that was pretty freaky.

I do feel a lot more confident late at night since I have started tae kwon do. I'm walking a lot taller and more confidently. The best self defence is to run. I hope you all get through through this and do consider taking some self defence lessons,

K

[Jes]

I'm so terribly sorry to hear about that, and sister, I am angry as hell, too. We shouldn't have to live like that.

I have a website - www.survivingtothriving.org, which you or your friend may want to check out - there is a section for loved ones of survivors of sexual violence as well.

Take gentle care,

Jes

[MsRuthieB]

Terrible. It really goes without saying but there's huge mental trauma on top of the physical trauma..especially with it happening in their own home..the home is what most of us think of as our safe haven. I myself never leave the doors unlocked, even when the man is home. Not to say that something still couldn't happen to me, but I'm over cautious sometimes.

Some people are so evil. It's hard not to loose hope.

I can't even offer any words that would make the pain less. One of the few times I'm kind of speechless really. :hug:

[dawngirl]

My mother was raped, in our home, by a "friend" of my brother's at knife point. He had been hiding in the basement for a day or two waiting for my brother to surface ~ they had some sort of falling out. I was home alone the night before it happened, and left my mom alone the next night when it happened. After that, I recall never quite being able to sleep in that house. I used to check every closet, window, door before I could even go to bed. Then I'd sleep with my bedroom door locked. That incident certainly forced me to be more aware of what happened in my home. Also that same year, several rapes occured on my college campus. That forced me to be more aware of my surroundings at all times and to have a plan in the event of some emergency. If you must be out alone at night, be aware, be prepared. Take care of yourself...

[IamJen]

she seems to be okay physically, which is a relief at least. but as far as emotionally is concerned, i'm not sure how to help her, you know?

Just being her friend, offering hugs and a supportive ear, *is* helpful. Do you know if she's planning to seek any help/counseling from a rape crisis center? Many times, having someone to talk with who understands just how you feel is the best healing technique. :)

:up: also to Jes' excellent site. We've passed the URL around several times at the shelter where I work. Very informative!

[colorful]

How terrifying! I am so, so sorry for your friend and her sister. I'm sure they are glad to have a friend like you during all of this. :hug:

I just can't understand why there is cruelty like that in the world *deep, heavy sigh* Why can't everybody just agree to be loving and kind? Why do we have to walk around so afraid all the time!

I am super paranoid (I think it comes from watching too much CSI and Law & Order) I always keep all of the doors locked, even while my husband is home. Before bed I lock all of the windows too, then do a quick search of all the closets and under the bed. Maybe I'm being neurotic, maybe I'm being safe. I don't know. It's what I have to do to sleep at night.

The scariest thing, though, is knowing that, if somebody really wanted to hurt me (or my family), they could. I can take all the precautions in the world, but at the end of the day I am still vulnerable. That's why I try my best to take advantage of every day I have with the ones I love, to really cherish life.

[zoebird]

i'm very sorry to hear about your friend and her sister.

the thing is, it seems to me that when this happens to one of us, it happens to all of us. i mean, there's a huge cultural trauma that occurs when we hear about these things. Basicly, at some level, we all have to recover from it. Those who are closest to the victims have been through a trauma too. So, definately be there for her, but also be there for you--you know? do what you need to to take care of yourself, because that's how you're going to be able to help them the most.

all the best to all of you.

[Rebel Girl]

a rape crisis center really helped me when i had to go through this. I am still struggling with it, and will continue for the rest of my life, but I am learning to trust men again, which is a big step, a very big one. Just being there for her to cry to or talk to can make a world of differnence.

[delicious]

I am so sorry for your friend and her sister. How terrible! I know someone who was raped by a stranger, while waiting for a bus to arrive. Rape is disgusting.

Why did I have to read this thread when I am home alone and need to take a shower?