Help Me Please!! [guy I need to "get with"]

[PinkBroccoli]

]ok i need help

i like this guy. and i need to get w/ him.

here's the history-
we went to h/s together, but i wasnt friends w/ him. i just had a couple classes w/ him. now he's going to my college. i dont have a class w/ him just have seen him around.

here'r the problems:
a) he's a total hardcore punk. (he has his lip pierced and and anti-brow(upper cheek piercing) now this is a big fat plus to me beause i think its completely hot. (omg the boy's gnarly. i am in love) but here's the prob- i am NOT a total hardcore punk. I am a surfer girl. and i look the part- tall, skinny, light blonde hair, kinda give the dumb blonde impression to pple, flip flops and bord shorts or jeans type of girl.
b) he asked what kind of music i like, (he asked my friend tammy-the matchmaker- and she said coldplay, wtf-right, i know) and the truth is i like punk but i dunno if its his type its more surfer light than hardcore. like rufio, 21 rest, rooney, red hot chili peppers, chevelle, sno patrol, stellastarr, elefant. i love all those bands and more but i dont think thats his type. but come on there's more than music right.
c) he totaly knows i'm like in love him. tammy wasnt exactly subtle.

what the **** do i do?
i think he's the most gnarley guy ever]

[Nirvana19105]

None of that music is punk, but it shouldn't matter, tell him you're interested in listening to more punk, and ask if you can tag along to the next show he goes to.

[PinkBroccoli]

i also listen to afi and incubus a ton (brenden boyde went to my first h/s not the one this guy and i went to)

but i agree the whole music thing shouldnt matter. we're both hot- thats enough in common for me.



stupide hot punk guys not into surfer girls.

[Nirvana19105]

Don't even get me started on afi and incubus. Listen, if you don't want him to laugh his ass off at you, don't even claim to listen to punk. Just tell him that you wanna hear some and ask if you can tag along to the next show he goes to.

[PinkBroccoli]

nm

[Tevvybear]

I just emailed my brother, asking him to look at this thread. I consider him to be 'more' of a punk than i am (i dont really consider myself punk, but others do), and i think that he's generally really good advice. Ill still try to help out where i can.

One thing thats important is not to be intimidated by him because he is a punk, and the way he might dress (i say might because i usually wear normal clothes. I only wear the stereotypical stuff on occasion so other 'punks' can recognise me).
Also, dont try to change yourself (or how others perceive you) too much just to fit in with the whole punk thing. Its perfectly fine for the two of you to have different tastes in music (i liked a girl who listened to ricky martin and britney spears - thats not the reason we didnt get together).
afi at least is basically considered to be a pop-punk band. which very basically means it is what the mainstream thinks is punk. i dont know much about incubus, as ive only heard 'new skin' and didnt consider that to be very good. Im not trying to say that they are bad bands, or that you should stop listening to them, just that i personally dont listen to them, and i know that is true of lots of punks, so i wouldnt advise you to call those bands 'punk' to this guy.

What are his other interests? does he skate? play an instrument? what is the course he's doing all about? (i dont know about others, but 'civics' doesnt tell me a lot)

On the music front, ill list for you some of the music i listen to, which i think he MIGHT also listen to. In this way you could sample some of what he likes, and perhaps bring it up in conversation.
Here are some good sites to download free music from.
http://www.g7welcomingcommittee.com/media/music.html
These artists are not all punk rock, but generally fairly political (something lots of punks are interested in). Malefaction, propagandhi, and I spy are quite punk rock (though for some really nice sounding music i also recomend clann zu and che chapter 127).
You could also try www.fatwreckchords.com and www.epitaph.com. they are both punk record labels, and have numerous songs available for free download.
Another good one you could try is www.unixpunx.org. there is an ftp archive of mp3s, as well as a 'radio' which people vote on what gets played next.

Some of the bands that you could investigate are: the Dead Kennedys, NoFX, the descenants, minor threat, propagandhi, aus rotten, anti flag, bad religion, rancid, pennywise, Me First and the Gimme Gimmes.
Try to find out some of the bands he listens to, and i might be able to give you info on those bands as well as similar ones - just email me tevvybear@mail.com

If he has 'X's drawn on his hands, or other things, or 'sXe', or uses the words 'straight edge' a lot you should probly do some investigation on some of the straight edge bands, such as the Teen Idols (considered the first sXe band), Minor Threat (who coined the term 'straight edge'). So you know, sXers basically dont drink alcohol, or take drugs, and different people take it to different levels, eg. i dont drink coffee and rarely eat chocolate because of the caffeine.
I mention the sXe thing coz you mentioned that he was a vegan, and lots of sXers are vegans (eg me).

Im sure ill think of other questions and suggestions over time, and ill keep checking this thread fairly regularly for you. good luck with it all, keep me posted. I recomend you try to talk to him. but above all, keep in mind that he's (most likely) a fairly normal person.

[Rebel Girl]

nirvana-stay out of these threads from now on, ok? go turn on some op ivy or KMFDM and chill.

But, he did give some good advice. Just tag along with him to a show/cd release party or something.

[Nirvana19105]

I'm really not one of the elitist punk types, but I was honest when I said that she'd probably just embarass herself if she approached him and tried to impress him with her bands. Just go talk to him, be nice, get to know him, and go with to a show.

[Kiddoemo]

my advice....get some information on the bands and the "scene" (yeah i said scene what now?) and stuff. make some friends with some of these kids, and try to dig into the big issues. like...choose your political stance and stuff, because like tevvybear's bro said a lot of the true punks are into politics. you also might want to know the history of punk rock and so fourth. its hard to give you advice exactely, i think tevvy got it. good luck...this guy sounds cool. peace
rant on
*>kendra<*

[desolationangel]

you know, there may be things you two have in common that are not related to music, so having different taste may not be a problem, in fact, it might be a good thing because then you can always test out each other's music and stuff. i know i got my boy addicted to pink floyd.... teehee.

i guess what i'm saying is that the surface doesn't matter- just because you have a different "scene" doesn't mean your personalities won't mesh!!!!

that being said, propaghandi rocks. i just stole the boy's propaghandi shirt, coincidentally. i'm evil.

[Tevvybear]

you know, there may be things you two have in common that are not related to music, so having different taste may not be a problem, in fact, it might be a good thing because then you can always test out each other's music and stuff. i know i got my boy addicted to pink floyd.... teehee.

i guess what i'm saying is that the surface doesn't matter- just because you have a different "scene" doesn't mean your personalities won't mesh!!!!

that being said, propaghandi rocks. i just stole the boy's propaghandi shirt, coincidentally. i'm evil.

I agree with nirvana when he said "talk to him, be nice, get to know him and go with hinm to a show".
I feel that when he said not to call afi and incubus 'punk' to this guy, he was right, but didnt explain the reasoning behind it. I personally feel that these things need to be explained, because most people just dont know.
One more thing, of the bands you listed in your first post, i have only ever heard of ONE of them - the chilli peppers, whom i listen to reasonably frequently, but definately not as 'punk'. i have 3 mp3 cds called 'rockin', 'rollin', & 'and a bit more rockin'. the chilli peppers are on rollin. that might give you some idea of how 'punk' i think they are. - and i dont just listen to punk. ive got 2 jazzy sorta album on there, along with some of marilyn manson's softer stuff (the heavier stuff is on 'more rockin'), a best of the cure album, and a david bowie album.

actually Kiddoemo, that was me, not my brother. i dont think he has even checked this site yet (the schmuck!), but i dont live with him, so i dont know. He might have checked it out, but had nothing more to add at the time. i dunno.
GO ANTI FLAG!

<quote desolateangel>
You are sooooo right!!!! im sure he has more than just one interest (otherwise he'd be a pretty boring person), and even if he doesnt, over time you can open his eyes to knew things (like da did). i got into bowie and the cure and joy division from my friends listing to it.

One little correction, having now listened to the malefaction song available on the g7wc site, i wouldnt classify them as punk rock, like i had heard from someone - either that or i got confuzzled.

[Tevvybear]

Hello all, this is Tevvybear's brother. Nice to meet you.
Onto business, as for advice, I think that the people here have got a pretty good idea. To be honest, I don't have much to add, if anything at all. Music only means so much, even to (some) 'hardcore' punks. I have been an example of that, to me music is a medium for a message to be expressed in a background and subtle manner. There are alot fo different 'types' of punks, so I can't really help you out much unless I get a more verbose description.
Sorry that I can not yet be of much help, I don't want to assume charactersitics, and give advice on them only to find them false and painful.

[Cherry Head]

Hello TevvyBear's brother.

Anyways, as for advice on this topic...everything Nirvana said.

[Tevvybear]

Cherry Head, your avatar rocks! :up: :rockon:

[PinkBroccoli]

omg u all r so sweet. but ya he thinks i'm psycho.-more about this later.

first of all, the bands i mentioned earlier are just some of my favorite bands but yea your right not punk. i really like NoFX just bought anti errorism like 2 weeks ago! and could listen to franco unamerican all day long. i also really love the sex pistols - friggin in the riggin is the best song ever. but music isnt the main thing thats in the way cuz he doesnt even really know me, just thinks he does which really kinda makes me mad.
ok so here's the entire deal on him- i really hope he isn't a member on veggie boards and reading this. he is a very smart guy, and very independent and self motivated, like he's had a job since he was 13 and has basicly supported himself. and the class Tammy has w/ him is advanced economics and government. and so obviously he's into political whatever. i just really hope he's liberal cuz if not i know we wont get along too well. and he has the piercings and is tall, and he's just really cute. he kinda dresses punk like he has black hair and wears jeans and black pants and stuff. but i think the piercing make up for it.
now here's the thing:
my friend went about the whole hooking me up w/ him -very BADLY. first she said i have a friend that really likes you (i dont know him! i just like the way he looks and am REALLY attracted to him) then he made her tell him who it was and she said me, and he said o i yea she liked me in high school. (um no buddy i had a boyfriend in h/s! i thought he was cute but he was interested in a friend of mine! complicated whatever it doesnt matter- i didnt have a crush on him then) and went on to say i dont think we have much in common like what type of music does she like? and then tam said coldplay.
then like 2 days later my friend danielle that used to work w/ him, went up to him and said my friend talks about you all the time! and he said yea violet, tammy told me. (um yea, this convo took place while he was waliking w/ his best friend elizabeth, who's twin is his x-girl friend. i have really smart friends.) so now he thinks i'm like obsessed w/ him. and hell i'm writing about him on veggiebords so maybe i am, but i dont want him to know that.

now i know this sounds VERY immature especialy for someone thats almost 19, and i'm not like desperate for a guy, or can't talk to guys, or anything like that. quite the opposite actually aperantly there are a bunch of guys that really like me and have been asking me out a lot lately buti am just weirdly very atracted to brent. and i see him everyday and i remeber things about him from high school that just i like him. so it sucks cuz now i'm really intimidated because he knows i like him and he has already prejudged me unworthy, and it just sux because i like him. and have to see him everyday. like if he didnt know i like him i could just go up to him and be totaly me (random but cute) but he knows and all his friends know and ugh. and all his friends are either girls or like very intimidating punks that really dont talk to me. one of them yelled at me like a year ago for wearing abercrombie and finch.
o but tevvybear u completely rock. thank u for the links i'm totaly gunna check them out. and all your guys's advice is very sweet!
i'll update you on anything that happens. and give me anymore advice if u have it!!!!
my friend justin is sorta friends w/ him so maybe i'll tag along w/ him and go to a party or something. i swear i'm not a stalker just way attracted!!
u all are awesome!

[PinkBroccoli]

never mind turns out he has recently aquired a girl friend

[Tevvybear]

im sorry to hear that PinkBroccoli :(
good on you for trying!
you had the courage to follow your heart, even though there was such obvious differences between the two of you. many people just would have been content to 'ride it out' and try to ignore their love for someone, just because they think that it might not work because of something small like a difference in music taste.
you rock!

[PinkBroccoli]

haha thanks. i do rock. besides the day after i found out and was all bummed this other really hot punk guy and i jus randomly started chating and we're going out this weekend so the universe is balanced. still have that weird attraction to the other guy tho, but whatev if its ment to be it will.

[Tevvybear]

hoorah for you! How strangely interesting that it all turned out the way it did, oh well, alls well that ends well :) dont worry about your lingering feelings for the other guy, i have been in the same sorta situation, and it didnt really get in the way, we both knew i still had some feelings for another girl (rachel), and we just didnt make a big deal about it. she trusted that i wouldnt leave her for rachel, and i knew that what i had was better anyway :)