So, I've been feeling down and out lately, because I've been really trying to lose the last of my baby weight. It hasn't come off as easily as everybody said it would, and somehow I have felt like a failure.

Yesterday I went for a walk with my mom. She told me, excitedly, how she is going back "on" her current diet of choice (low carb) until Jan 1st. This latest fad has been her on/off diet for the last couple of years. I started thinking about this. I think my mom has been on one type of diet or another for...well, for as long as I can remember! Of course, she has on/off times, some longer than others, but it's always something. When she's on a diet, all she can talk about it her weight loss, when she's off, she talks about how fat she feels. And my mother is not fat! She looks very normal, a little on the plump side possibly for a mid-50's woman, but over all, she looks nice!

I came home, and took a good look at myself in the mirror. You know what? I look nice! I am a few pounds heavier than I used to be, but I had a baby and my body has changed! I am still within the "normal" weight range for my height according to my doctor. I thought about it...do I really want to miserably try and try to lose those last ten pounds all my life? Try, and fail and become miserable so I gain even more back? Obsess over weight my whole life to the point where I have really messed up ideas about eating? NO! This is not how I want to live my life! These are not the attitudes I want to pass on to my children (as I am sure my mother passed on to me). I realize that I have a choice! :idea:

So, as of yesterday, I made a decision. I am going to be happy with my body! It does just fine for me. I am not going to try to lose weight any more! I will continue eating healthy food, and exercising when I can, because it is healthy! But I'm going to stop trying to get the body I had when I was in college. Instead I will turn my energies toward being a great mom and a great wife and enjoying my life. I can't describe this feeling. I feel like this huge burden has been lifted off my shoulders!

I just thought I would share this personal victory with you all...thanks for listening! :sunny:

YAY you!! definitely not attitudes you want passed on. i hope your atttitude continues--far healthier than the obsessing about a few pounds vanishing. go play with your baby with a smile on your face know :nana: ing you are healthy!!

Good for you!

That's awesome! Hooray for you!! :sunny:

That's a great way to look at your body, colorful! You inspire me. :)

:hug: GO COLORFUL!

That's really great :up: :sunny:

YAY!!! YAY!!! YAY!!! YAY!!! YAY!!! YAY!!! YAY!!! YAY!!! YAY!!! YAY!!! YAY!!! YAY!!! YAY!!! YAY!!! YAY!!! YAY!!! YAY!!! YAY!!! YAY!!! YAY!!! :bobo: :nana: :vebo:

I'm sure you'll be much happier and live a richer life with this mindset. Congrats!

aww, that made me happy :) I'm sure you're gorgeous!

:) You should post a picture of you and the baby.

aw thanks guys! What a wonderful, warm place these boards are :smitten:

FB ~ maybe I can get my husband to help me post a pic (I'm a little technology-challenged!). I'd love to show off my little cutie pie. :baby:

Are you my long lost sister? My mother is exactly the same way. For as long as I can remember she has either been on a diet, about to start a diet, or mentioning that she should be on a diet-all the while insulting her normal sized body.

I realize how great a factor that is in how a child comes to look at her/his own body. I recall thinking I was fat (I have never been overweight) by age 7.

Congrats on overcoming that nasty programming and not passing it along to your child. I'm still working on it so you are an inspiration to me.

veg*nfrog,

same thing with me. I didn't have an ounce of fat on me growing up (until I hit those dreaded middle-school years). But I remember being 7 or 8 years old, and talking with my best friend about how we wished our waists were as tiny as a dot! I also remember one day (around the same age) alarming my family by announcing that I was on a diet! Gosh, when I look back on that, it was pretty freaky! More than ever I do NOT want to pass any of that on to my kids. I'm sure it will take some work to get my head out of that mindset, but so help me if I ever talk about "feeling fat" in front of my kids!

Thats so awesome that you don't plan to talk about your body negatively too... I admire you in many ways :) I don't think a lot of parents realize what a negative impact that along with media pressures can have on kids. And now that you have found satisfaction with your body, you'll have that much more time and energy to focus on your baby and on enjoying your life! Kick arse! :vebo:

Yeah colorful! Keep up the positive thinking!

Wow! You're so amazing, Colorful! :up:

that's great colorful! :) i'm so glad that things opened up for you mentally/emotionally in this regard.

for me, it's almost a constant battle with my mom. Not in the ltieral sense (no yelling or fighting or anything), but i have to regonize that she often projects her things onto me.

right now, i'm 5 ft 7 inches tall and 128 lbs. when i'm not on my period, i'm 125 lbs (on average). Each month, i fluctuate between 125 and 130 lbs. depending upon when my mother sees me, she usually makes a comment.

Literally, one day, she made the following two comments:

oh my goodness, you're looking so trim and fit! that's great!

and then about 45 minutes later: you look like you're poured into those pants! you need to watch what you're eating!

ok, my mother has had her weight things for a long time. As a teen, her gymnastics coach used to tell her she was too pudgy to compete and so on. she's always been athletic, and she's always been pretty fit. Even now, she can leg press 250 lbs--and she's 53 yrs old. She's in awesome shape--but she's always considering herself fat, or needing to loose a few, etc.

also, after having children and as we age, the fat on our bellies tends to change--and our skin changes too. this is normal (and attractive). sure, some women don't have it (usually ectomorphs), but most women do (particularly endomorphs). So, there's a certain "softness" that comes with age that is really a lovely thing, though culturally it's not valued.

My sister and i talk about this thing a lot. My sister is the same height, but a completely different body type. She's alway been heavier and softer than i. that's her natural body. Even at her most fit, she'll outweigh me by 10 lbs or more. mom is constantly asking her about her diet and exercise and if she's getting into shape.

Really, we've discovered, that this is our mother's issue that she's projecting onto us. I have to remind myself that i am happy with my body and ok and lovely and everything. I mean, just this year i started wearing bikinis. You know why? because i have a nice body. I really do. Seriously. It's nice. but before, i would never wear one because my mom would say "hold your stomach in!" and "you shouldn't wear that until you get leaner!" and so on. But, i see women who are "softer" than me in bikinis and they seem perfectly happy.

So, i'm wearing them. and i look great and i feel great. I've told my mom to stop projecting her crap onto me like that--but she can't stop. So, i just brush it aside now. My sister and i will vent about it, and then that's it.

the problem is, i also get it from my MIL. IT's a real pain. i wonder what it is about women of that generation?

what a wonderful post to read, colorful. :)

You rock. :up:

wonderful, colourful! It's a great attitude :)

Zoebird: my grandma used to be the same way. She would tell my mom (who was very athletic and wore a size 2) that she was fat. Riiiight, fat.

that was beautiful :) and really inspiring for me, because i'm in the same sort of 'blah' mood about how i look, and trying not to be, as long as i keep eating healthily. go you!

you guys are all too sweet. :o

I just want to share with you guys how great I am feeling after having made this decision. I never truly realized how much of a burden my constant battle to lose weight was on me. I feel so free...so liberated...to be able to sit down at the dinner table without an "agenda"...just to nourish myself, my taste buds, have good conversation. Last night we went over to my parents' house for dinner, and as I saw my mom measure her rice in a measuring cup and write it down, I thought, wow, I am so glad I am not doing that! I am so glad I am escaping that way of thinking while I am still young.

I want to give you all big hugs for being so supportive and reaffirming to me...it means a lot! :hug:

Congrats to you, Colorful :D

I hope to one day relieve myself completely from that burden, as well. Wasting time on that junk is well ... a waste!

AAARGH...I'm thinking about putting that burden back on my shoulders. I thoroughly enjoyed the last two weeks of not worrying about my weight, and gained 3 pounds in the process! :grr:

Today I am starting a food journal. I think this is going to help. I just need to become more aware of how much I am eating. I'm also writing down what my son eats. At the end of a week I am going to analyze our diets...see how much protein we are getting, how many servings of fruits/veggies, etc.

I am also going to increase my exercise.

I hope this works for me. I don't want to be a constant dieter, I just want to learn how to eat healthfully and maintain my weight without having to obsess over it. *sigh*

Are you a stay at home mommy? If so, this is a great time of year for walking. When I lost the weight, I was walking an hour in the morning and an hour in the evening. I loved it :D When I did a summer of in-home childcare, I also did lots of walking, just to break up the mid morning. Its something your son can enjoy. Just plop him in a stroller and away you go.

I think the food journal is great idea for everyone to do once in awhile. It keeps things in check.

Recently, I decided to stop bringing empty cal foods into my home. I now realize thats most of what I was relying on for calories! I lost 2lbs in the past week. If I am remembering correctly, you eat fairly healthy, though. Hmmm ... perhaps eating more veggies and less grains would bring down the calorie of your meals without changing the flavor much. Regardless of what you chose to do, I'm sure you are most beautious already.

Yes, I do stay at home with my little one! :baby: I've been doing an in-home daycare thing for the last 8-9 months or so, so it's been hard to get out, but I'll be done with that this coming Friday!!
:vebo: :bobo: :nana:
(can you tell I'm excited about that?!)

I love being outside and taking walks with my son is my primary form of exercise. It is so calming to be outside, breathing the fresh air and looking at blue skies. Actually, I also love to walk when it isn't sunny out, probably even moreso, because it's not too hot :sunny: I just need to motivate myself to get out there more often, I always love it once I am doing it!

I don't think my problem so much is what I eat, I think I just eat too much in general! :lol: Portion size is probably the biggest thing I need to work on. I'm going to try to increase my fruit/veggie intake while calming down on everything else.