I had a bad experience with an awful doctor with my first pregnancy and haven't seen an gyn in years. The hubby and I have been discussing possibly getting pregnant in the near future and I have no doctor and HATE them. It is really hard for me to trust them after my previous treatment. I really want a female ob/gyn that I can trust and really talk too-without all that: "I am higher than you becasue I'm a doc and this is how it goes" mentality. Because of lawsuits and other issues in GA. -There just isn't many choices. I am really frustrated. I also don't feel that all those freaking exams are all that necessary. I think for the most part its really all a money thing. Other than the usual testing in the beginning-do you guys think all those appts are really necessary? Do you have any tips for me? Possibly finding a good doc and overcoming my fear of the awful coochie doc?

you gotta go. there are problems with a pregnancy that might go unnoticed until it was (shudder) too late.

that said, i think many tests are unnecessary. especially the more invasive ones like an amnio. mostly that is for birth defects like downs. my feeling was i was having the baby no matter what, so i really didn't care. and i wasn't gonna take the risk of those sorts of tests when i felt the results were inconsequential.

just a thought. i don't know much about them, but i think kreeli might. what about a midwife?

you gotta go. there are problems with a pregnancy that might go unnoticed until it was (shudder) too late.

that said, i think many tests are unnecessary. especially the more invasive ones like an amnio. mostly that is for birth defects like downs. my feeling was i was having the baby no matter what, so i really didn't care. and i wasn't gonna take the risk of those sorts of tests when i felt the results were inconsequential.
Well they don't do a lot of the tests (like amnio) unless there is reason to suspect a problem and you consent to have it done. Especially since they might not be covered if there is no reason for them. Ask questions about the tests, do your own research and only give your consent to those you want done. It's not all or nothing.

But I agree that you have to go. Have you looked for a nurse practictioner-midwife? A lot of health systems have them as alternatives.

I think before you get pregnant, if you're gonna try, you're supposed to have a good once over by a doctor to make sure there's nothing you need to fix before you get pregnant (like make sure your iron/bvits are okay, no signs of any abnormal cervical cells, etc...). After that, I don't know why you couldn't choose a nice experienced midwife and use her for your primary preggo doc.

I agree with all the other posters. Before you get preggo you should get checked out just to be sure there's no problems. Once pregnant you really do need the prenatal visits. My experience was different (had twins) than most but you can refuse testing that you don't feel is necessary. Many, many woman do.

Start asking around (friends, co workers, etc) for referrals to a good mid wife. They are usually much more patient friendly.

Good luck!

It is sad to see babies born with conditions that could have been prevented if the mother received prenatal care. Most of the midwives have a gentler approach than the Ob/Gyns, but not all docs are like the one you described. Ask around, get recommendations, etc. In the end, what's in the best interest for you and your baby are most important. Be healthy and good luck. :)

I'd definately recomend contacting a midwife. With my m/w i had usual pee tests,blood taken,blood pressure, fundal height check, very non invasive. No internal exams at all until i was actually in labour and then it was kept minimal. I'm not a doctor/hospital person unless i'm dying :lol: We also opted for a homebirth with Carly and that helped us to have a very non medical birth in an environment that i felt relaxed in.

The reason I haven't thought of a midwife and natural vag. birth is that I needed a emergency c-section with my first child and plan to have another c-section with the second. Long story- about the first incidence, not really up to posting about it right now. So I know some women choose to try vbac, but I am not going too.

My suggestion is to talk to new mothers and find out who is good. If you have a Planned Parenthood or prenatal classes in your area, they might be able to give you a name. To me a prenatal visit is the gift of health for your child. I know many of the procedure are embarassing or uncomfortable but just picture your future child and it's worth it.

eh, i'm years behind, anyway . . .

all of my fav lady doctors have been nurse practitioners.

Most of the tests are not too invasive, just blood tests. Some states in order to deliver in a hospital you are legally required to have certain blood tests (one such required test is HIV in my state) and if they're drawing blood for those, they may as well take what they need for the fetal testing.
You can opt to have only one ultrasound (or none but one half way through can give them ideas about abnormalities) if you feel uncomfortable with those. You can also opt out of an amnio (I did with my twins) because it does carry a small risk of miscarriage. Unless you'll terminate for downs, the only other reason would be to look for a neural tube defect and you can discuss preparing for that should the test come back indicating it.
Gestational diabetes, albeit somewhat a hassle, is extremely important to the health of you and your baby.
Regular blood checkups are required (as is being seen by an actual OBGYN) if you're getting a cesearan in most hospitals.
I'm not sure what your reasons are behind not wanting to see an OB but maybe it would make you feel better to have your husband or mother there for the exams? I had never been to an GYN before i got pregnant with my first so I had my husband with me during every exam. The doctor wasn't uncomfortable with it at all.
Your best bet would be to interview several OBs in your area. Ask them about their testing policies and get a feel for how they are. Ask your women friends about their doctors, many GYNs do OB work. Do you have a regular doctor? You could ask for a referral. Also tell your doctor what you're uncomfortable with and why. Ask them to keep you informed on what they're going to do and when. BE HONEST. They can't know unless you tell them. Let them know your bad experience so they don't accidently do something that will trigger bad feelings with you.
Also understand you're protecting not only your health but that of your unborn baby. If you do it for no other reason, do it for him/her. :shy:
Mary

even if you don't intend to go vbac, i would still contact a good midwife that a friend or someone can recommend. they have a very gentle style often and can give you some great advice. you don't have to worry about the birth at the beginning of the pregnancy. just focus on having a healthy pregnancy.

also, hypnobirthing is a great option to consider, i even have heard of women using hypnobirthing when having a ceasarean...goodk luck

even if you don't intend to go vbac, i would still contact a good midwife that a friend or someone can recommend. they have a very gentle style often and can give you some great advice. you don't have to worry about the birth at the beginning of the pregnancy. just focus on having a healthy pregnancy.

also, hypnobirthing is a great option to consider, i even have heard of women using hypnobirthing when having a ceasarean...goodk luck

As someone who had a cesearan both times (not by choice I assure you), most midwives will not see a patient who is either not planning to birth vaginally or will not be allowed to UNLESS the midwife is in a practice with an OBGYN. Some may not even see a patient whose had a cesearan and has never had a vaginal birth even if they plan on a VBAC. It's pretty important to feel comfortable with your OBGYN way before they're grabbing a scalpel and preparing to do major abdominal surgery. My first section was an emergency section over 100 miles away from my original OB and the stress level was a lot higher being surrounded by lots of faces I didn't recognize.
If a midwife seems like a good option maybe you can find an OB practice with a midwife on staff. Many practices with midwives on staff have no problem with midwives monitoring low risk pregnancies no matter what the eventual birth will be. For my last section they had me meet with the doctor that would be scheduling the section and I was followed by a midwife most of the pregnancy. They do tend to be slightly less invasive with internal exams and they're not as big on ultrasounds. Even though my second was an emergency section again, at least I knew the doctor attending to me. It made a world of difference.
It's really really important to be comfortable with the operating doctor. I dont recommend putting off finding an OBGYN she can trust in any way since she's planning on having a section.
Mary

I agree with you that I think a lot of the visits are unnecessary. It is just a way for them to make money as most pregnancys are safe & normal but yes there are a small number of them that do need a doctors care.
If I were you I would get a midwife like the others have said.
Both my sisters are pregnant right now (they are both 4 months along!!) so this has been in my face a lot these days.
I hope you have a safe happy pregnancy and don't be afraid to tell your doctor NO when you don't want them to do something.

I hear you! I have a strong dislike for doctors, too. I've had two babies and I have to say that I think MOST of those exams were completely useless, especially the second time around when I was more experienced and didn't have as many questions.

(I understand there are special circumstances for some people where more testing and checking-in iis useful, so no one flame me, please. I trust the person posting that if she had a special circumstance, she would handle it responsibily. For most pregnancies, however, I think they are pretty routine.)

My friends think I'm radical because I asked my ob/gyn not to weigh me, lol! I didn't need to know how much I gained, I could SEE that I was gaining! My doc agreed that we won't weigh me or talk about the number unless it became a problem. It didn't become a problem so no need for the numbers.

Now, of course standing on a scale isn't exactly invasive, but I saw it as unnecessary and unuseful to both the doctor and to me. When I told the doctor this, she agreed. So the first step is to be have a voice with your doctor. A reaonsable, calm voice should be heard.

The other approach I took was simply not go to all the appointments. My doctor didn't lecture me about it, probably because I'm a grown adult with no health problems. Perhaps if I had been younger, not taking care of myself, or if there was a suspected problem with the baby, she would have been firm about the appointments. Instead, she would tell me when she wanted to see me again according to the standard schedule, and I made up my own mind about whether I thought I needed to see her.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that YOU have the power over how you want the process to go. It's very helpful, of course, to find a doctor who isn't condescending. I'd ask around for local recommendations and then simply be in charge.

All the best to you!

Diana-Kate

I dont know anything about pregnancy, but i do know it is very important to go to your ob/gyn every year. almost 2 years ago i was diagnosed with cervical dysplasia (changing cells, the beginning of cervical cancer.) If this is left un treated, it can, and will change into cervical cancer. It is something that you dont know you have, until you get an abnormal pap. I had to have surgery, have part of my cervix removed, and a year after the surgery, i havent had anything grow back (thank god)

So Please, look around, talk to friends, find an ob-gyn you can trust, and get your self checked out, before you try to get pregnant.