I have a question for the veg*n parents out there.

I know that someday, if I'm fortunate enough to have children, I want to raise them vegan ideally, but if my SO was concerned, I'd be willing to compromise on lacto-ovo veg. (I'm vegan.)

My family is diehard omni. They are not at all respectful of my choices or my lifestyle.

I will want to share my values with my children in an age-appropriate way.

Example: "Mommy thinks it's wrong to eat animals."

But kids being kids, I can just imagine the potential responses:

"But Mommy, Grandpa eats meat, is he bad?"
"But Mommy, my friends at school eat meat, are they bad?"
"But Mommy, Grandma says it's normal and natural to eat animals and that we've done it for a long time!"

Etc, etc.

How do you veg*n parents share your values with your kids and raise them to be compassionate without causing undue stress with omni family members and schoolmates?

My daughter is a year old, so I haven't had to cross those roads yet, but I have thought a lot about it. I think the most important thing is to be accepting of other people's differences, so your children will be, too. Growing up, we all have to accept that not everyone thinks alike. Raising your children vegan, I think, gives you an excellent opportunity to instill these values in them.

Being vegan, (or vegetarian) we are a minority. Rather than pitting your kids against omnivores, you can help them to understand and accept other people's beliefs while teaching them that they don't have to be like everyone else.

To most of the questions that you're concerned about, I would answer, "Not everyone thinks alike. It's ok that everyone's different."

We never told the boys it was "wrong" to eat animals. We told them things like "It's all about saving the animals". We just recently switched and they are 4 & 5. We had discussions with them. We asked them where chicken nuggets came from, so that they could think about it themselves. And we explained that bacon was from pigs, etc. One day, my 5yo figured out that we killed the animals to eat them (we didn't tell him this). Most little kids love animals, so of course he was crying. By doing it that way, they don't tell others they are wrong, but they know what's "right" for our family.

i asked this very same question a few years ago when my son finally started to wonder why not everyone was vegetarian. some people actually told me to tell him "the truth" - that our omni friends and family were heartless and thoughtless. LOL needless to say i didn't frame it quite like that.

this kind of feeds into my idealogy of there being no "bad" people, just "bad" behaviour. it's hard cuz kids really like things to be black and white (or at least, mine do), so i'm not really sure they get it. but i tried to make it clear that not everyone shares the same beliefs, that some people don't love animals the way we do, some people value tradition over all other things, and that being able to choose veg*nism is a privilege that a lot of people aren't afforded, either because they haven't the time, brains, or energy to research it, or because they really don't have skills or abilities to follow through with it. it is hard work, especially when you get started, and i don't blame a lot of people for beng daunted by the idea of it.

As weird as it may sound, you may wish to befriend first or second generation Americans raising children in the area. (I always get the terms confused: I'm talking about the American-born children of immigrants.) We may not always be vegan, but we're used to this conflict on a daily basis and in a variety of non-dietary ways.

That said, my father dealt with a similar issue concerning his desire to not raise us as Jews, let alone Orthodox Jews. Most of the time, he just invented creative excuses to avoid confrontation. When snide comments were thrown his way, he retorted with witty, but not mean, comments, and when outright fights arose, he made sure to keep them in Russian or Ukranian to prevent us from understanding the details. Afterwards, he would show us a movie or t.v. show echoing his point of view. When you get right down to it, movies and t.v. shows are far more powerful than a grandmother's chastisements.

Terra

...Hence why it could be beneficial to read the Arts & Entertainment thread. :D

Many veg*ns are involved in other alternative-type activities, be it conservation or peace efforts or something else. If that's true in your life, the "But why do we and why don't they?" discussion will come up over more than just veg*nism. If you'd rather be the undeniable primary teacher of your children, you might want to consider homeschooling. There you can nurture the countercultureness without going overboard.

i asked this very same question a few years ago when my son finally started to wonder why not everyone was vegetarian. some people actually told me to tell him "the truth" - that our omni friends and family were heartless and thoughtless. LOL needless to say i didn't frame it quite like that.

this kind of feeds into my idealogy of there being no "bad" people, just "bad" behaviour. it's hard cuz kids really like things to be black and white (or at least, mine do), so i'm not really sure they get it. but i tried to make it clear that not everyone shares the same beliefs, that some people don't love animals the way we do, some people value tradition over all other things, and that being able to choose veg*nism is a privilege that a lot of people aren't afforded, either because they haven't the time, brains, or energy to research it, or because they really don't have skills or abilities to follow through with it. it is hard work, especially when you get started, and i don't blame a lot of people for beng daunted by the idea of it.

We've pretty much said the same thing to Sebastian :up: We also always let him know that it's his choice to be vegan, but he says that he'll never eat "animal food" :smitten:

I'm a million years from having kids too, and if I ever do, they'd be adopted...but here is what I'd say in that situation.

a) "Evan, by not eating meat we can help animals, but also humans and the environment. But not everyone realizes this, or sometimes they think that they couldn't make a difference. But in our family, we try to do what is right, no matter what others think or even if it doesn't always seem to make the biggest difference."

Based on age, you could explain more about how veganism DOES help people or the environment, and based on a childs' emotional sensitivity, you could explain a little about your philosophies on animal rights. You may also want to add, if you believe, that other people who eat meat aren't necessarily unfeeling but may be disllusioned, or may have never been supported - or maybe fear criticism or ridicule - and that this also effects their decisions and behaviours.

-Linz