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brownieB26
05-07-04, 09:37 PM
ETA: I just realized I probably posted this in the completely wrong forum. Although it is kind of related to rasing a vegetarian child becasue I am a vegetarina (vegan) child and my parents are not raising me very well. :sealed:

Okay, so maybe my family is not stupid, perhaps they are just a bit misinformed or ignorant, but in any case they have finally driven me to a breaking point. I can't even sit with them for dinner anymore. First, as I was trying to make some healthy-ish french fries for dinner tonight (by tossing the fries in olive oil instead of deep frying), my dad throws away the ziploc I was using. I asked him what he did with my bag and he said he threw it away. I told him I was going to use it and he shouldn't be wasteful, but shrugged it off, made another bag, and went back to cutting the potatoes. Not 5 minutes later I go back to use the bag and its gone. I asked my dad where it went and he said he threw it away. I mean, not only does that undermine the work I put in to preparing the bag (i had to mix seasoning and measure the oil, not a lot of work, but still...) but its just plain wasteful!
Then I come to the table and its Shabbat tonight so we've got the challah (an egg bread, not vegan but I'm not going to argue with the Torah) out and everyone gets a piece (except me). My mom takes a small bite and gives the rest to the dog. I asked her why she didn't like the challah. "Becasue it's fattening" she responds. Now I know its white bread and white bread is essentially empty calories, but this is a person who on Tuesday wouldn't eat my vegetable stir fry because she had filled up on the Double Cheeseburger value meal and chicken wings earlier in the day, and who came home with a King size box of Mike and Ikes just yesterday (and probably would have eaten the entire box (6 servings) if I hadn't snatched them away from her. I know mother's day is coming up and I don't want to be mean and disrespectful, but seriously, how can someone be so unreasonable?? Plus the fact that my mother isn't on a low carb diet, as she's eating a big bowl of pasta tonight! (made by moi, with sauteed veggies and a touch of seasoning :D). Some might say that I shouldn't worry about my mom becasue it doesn't affect me, but it does, because tongiht is a special case. Usually when I make her something healthy for dinner she comes home and tells me she isn't hungry, becasue on the way home (after she calls me and tells me to make something) she got some greasy-ass hamburger or potato chips.

What does it take to get through to some people???? :whack: :whack:

kpickell
05-07-04, 09:53 PM
Sorry you're feeling so frustrated. I don't understand, but I'll give you a hug anyway. :hug:

froggythefrog
05-08-04, 05:37 AM
Brownie:

I can relate to the situation with your father. I get angry at people for interfering with what I do. Perhaps pulling your father aside and saying, "I am making fries and this is my seasoning bag. Please do not pitch it." would help.

Your mother's eating habits are her choice. But, your family is letting you have your choice. They did not even get on to you for not partaking of the challah -- assuming there would be a reason to... I am not Jewish. But they are allowing you to prepare your own meals and follow your diet! This is so much more than a lot of families are willing to do for their children. You have so much to be thankful for here! If I might borrow some liberty here, I would say that God has made sure to put you in a family where it is possible for you to be vegan, and this means alot.

Your mother is an adult, and she can make her own decisions, and she's not perfect. If you think she's not teaching you how to eat right, I would say that you seem to be handling that pretty well yourself. I would suggest that you lightly brush the fries with olive oil and bake them however. The texture's slightly different, but it's really yummy. My parents seemed near perfect to me, and let's just say I often expect worlds more of myself than I really handle. It's nice when you learn that they're human and therefore so are you pretty early on. I think it's great that when she decides to have a healthy meal, she has a serving waiting for her cooked by you. Good job!

So you're family's not perfect? What a shock! :o You could do a heck of a lot worse. Sounds to me like they have a wonderful daughter. :)

epski
05-08-04, 06:40 AM
Well, don't let 'em get you so insane that you want to mow 'em down with an AK-47. Yes, at a certain point, you have to let go of your family members. That's right, when they get to a certain age, you have to let them make their own mistakes... ;)

tearhsong2
05-09-04, 09:37 PM
:hug: I understand what you're going through. I went through this with my dad for a long time and now I go through it with my husband. My dad was eventually shocked into healthier eating and exercise because he had a heart attack a year and a half ago. My husband, on the other hand, has type 2 diabetes and still won't make very many changes to his diet. The biggest change he's made is switching from regular soda to diet soda and avoiding sweets. At least now he's taking his medicine and checking his blood sugar every day, but a few months ago he wouldn't even do that. :sigh: