Any Teens been in love?

[veganmuncher]

Any teenagers here been in love? Tell me what it feels like

I feel like i'm in love..but not actually with someone..

How young do you think you can fall in love at?

[shethatisnau]

I don't think teens can honestly fall in love. It's a nice notion, but I know far too many people who are in love with someone new on a weekly basis. I think people, teens especially, tend to over-use the term. I'm not saying it's impossible, but I know that a lot of people I know that are my age (16) would be incapable of it. We're still trying to figure ourselves out, there's no way in hell we can devote ourselves completely and selflessly to someone when we don't even know what we want to wear to prom or what college we want to go. I don't know at what age a person would be capable of falling in true, selfless love, but I seriously doubt anyone in their teens would be able to.

[Astarte]

I'd have to disagree with you, shethatisnau, but not totally. I agree that most teenagers aren't capable of forming lasting loving bonds... the kind that will last until you die, I think we're able to form a love of sorts. I dated a guy for over a year in high school and I'd be lying if I said I never loved him. For a while I thought I'd marry him, and then I got some sense and dumped him at the end of grade 12. It's just a different sort of love. Something way more temporary.

If you believe that love is eternal, then teenagers almost never fall in love for real. For my part, I think there are all sorts of romantic love, the best of which last forever and lots of people never find. I don't know what that's like.. but as for the temporary stuff, it's pretty nice while it's going on :) Kinda crappy when it's over...

[shethatisnau]

I'd have to disagree with you, shethatisnau, but not totally. I agree that most teenagers aren't capable of forming lasting loving bonds... the kind that will last until you die, I think we're able to form a love of sorts. I dated a guy for over a year in high school and I'd be lying if I said I never loved him. For a while I thought I'd marry him, and then I got some sense and dumped him at the end of grade 12. It's just a different sort of love. Something way more temporary.

If you believe that love is eternal, then teenagers almost never fall in love for real. For my part, I think there are all sorts of romantic love, the best of which last forever and lots of people never find. I don't know what that's like.. but as for the temporary stuff, it's pretty nice while it's going on :) Kinda crappy when it's over...

That's the kind of love I mean, though- the permanent thing. I guess I'm just irritated by the people I know who are continually saying they're in love with someone new. I have a friend who's in a deeply meaningful relationship, but I wouldn't say it's what I'd consider the absolute in true love. It's a meaningful relationship that's affecting and means a lot to the person - not true love. :) We might just see things differently, though, lol. That's cool, too.

[Loki]

I think that anyone can fall in love. Have I ever been in love? I really don't know. Love is a two-way thing, (or a three/four/five etc way thing if you're polyamorous) so i really don't know whether I have experienced love. i know i've felt a few things, and I've had to deal with a breakup which took as long as the relationship to get over, and getting over it meant accepting a few truths which i would not accept.

I've had a couple of flings as well, and I know that true love made no presence in there, but I did feel something.

I learned from one of my flings that the "L" word is not a word to be taken lightly. I'm apprehensive about using it now, and i wonder if it ever will actually apply to me. The thing it though, love is a state of mind, and it's pretty much like how a friend of mine described being stoned - "The only way to know what it feels like to be stoned is to be stoned." (A silly analogy, but it gets the point across.)

[iceflower]

I'd say no...I've loved and been loved, but I think to be 'in love' you both need to feel that connection and it just hasn't been there.

[skunkpumpkin]

Love has to be reciprocated? It's impossible to be in love and not be loved back? I feel like I'm in love but it's not mutual. I know of the many teenage misconceptions of love but i'm pretty sure this is true. I'm also not the type of person to "fall in love" every week...I've had this same interest for over a year. Tell me what you think. I'm not basing my feelings on other's opinions, of course, I'm just wondering what's going on in your heads!

[Rebel Girl]

what love is varies from person to person, teen to teen. Love could be anything for that matter. i guess my standards are respect, affection, caring, and something you just cant put your finger on. ive been in a relationship with the same guy since 8th grade (next year ill be a sophmore) and he fills out all those. i understand that some teens are totally wishy washy with their emotions, but if they feel something, a connection, then they have all the rights to go for it. but i have severe doubts that anyone in my school could stay in a relationship as long as some people i know have. I know a girl who is still with her boyfriend from 8th grade and shes a senior now. thats some serious love/affection going on there. but there definitly are girls/boys that are like "i love bobby"*2 days later* i hate bobby, im gonna have freds babies, he is my babies daddy!" i hate that crap.

[Meo]

My parents started dating when they were both 16. They got married when they were 18 and 19, the year after they graduated from college. They're still together now at 34 and 35. Obviously, I think teens can fall in love, as I've just given an example.

[mayuko]

meo - that's so sweet! :smitten:

personally, i believe it *is* possible for a teenager to fall in love, although it's also highly likely that they would think they're in love but that's not really it at all... i go back and forth between believing someone can fall in love at my age and thinking i'm so young how the hell can anyone my age know what love is -- so who am i to say? :p

[SunshineDreamer]

I think it's possible at any age, but very rare for teens to fall in love. Anyhow, I've never been in love, so I wouldn't know... :D

[thebelovedtree]

I dont think it matters how old you are, but how mature you are, and how in touch with your feelings you are and how much you can value another person. I would say i'm in love with my boyfriend, and he is in love with me. I dont think i could validate it for someone, but i dont need to. Will we be together when we're 100, i dont know, but what matters is what we've found in each other the last 4 years, and what we continue to see in each other. Loving another person is really caring more about them than you do about yourself, and many people are not ready for that, adult or teen.

[vegan_hottie07]

I've only been dating my boyfriend like..2 days and he already said I love you... I told him not to say that because there no way that he can feel like that about me already and he refused to think differently. Love is possible as a teen, but very unlikely...especially around this time. Don't get in a hurry to find the "right one", just be friends for a while and see if he's really meant for you (me and my boyfriend have nothing in common whatsoever but I don't know how to tell him that I don't like him)

Good luck with your boi :)

[UndyingSong]

I am a teen. :)

I have been in love.

I am still in love,

Deeply in love.

With my soul mate, and have been so for two years now.

The more time I spend with this person, the more I converse with this person, the further I sink into that which is called love for this person.

We are exactly the same.

And yet, totally opposite from one another.

And, how do I define "love"?

Love is when the joy of another is required for your own.

Love is that feeling of being whole when you are together; being only half there whenever you are separated.

But, that's just me. ;)

[misq17]

I think more mature teens can be but most teens probably not. My parents started going out when they were 16 and 17 and are now 48 and 49. Just like Meo's parents, I guess a story of high school romance

[FafaFrappy]

Anyone can fall in love. You can't really put a time line and say this person will be this mature at this age, and only capable of handling X amount of things. I think that's utterly ridiculous.

You learn from experience, not from age. Some people have more experience at a different age than others. Experience does come with time, but you can't control what happens to make you "grow" by a certain time. Some adults are less mature than I am, and probably less mature than most teens here! It's a very individual thing...

my 2 cents.

[skunkpumpkin]

I agree with all that Fafa said...:)


anyways, the threadstarter asked what it feels like.

for me, it kind of, overflows

This huge rush of energy just exits me and i have to take a deep breath afterwards...like the way they depict people who are in love; sighing, smiling continuously. It's a wonderful feeling.

[DannyKass]

Yeah i agree with what fafa. You can fall in love whenever. It just depends on maturity etc etc etc

[bonelessbeef]

hmmm let me give my 2 cents

to me love is such a strong word! im 19 years old and how am i supose to really know what love truly is.im so young and havnt seen alot. every single girl friend(except the one i have now but thats a different story)i have ever had i can honestly say i have never really loved them or even said i love u to them. and let me tell u how much drama that has caused me.
the girl im with now i can say i do love. i cant even begin to explain any of it. a feeling deep inside?

i think alot of people get love and lust confused. and that it is easily to get blinded by lust. to me there are so many factors to even be in love..the age group and maturaty of them, and is it physical and/or emotional.

sure a 15 year old can be love. love has a different meaning to everyone. its all up to u how you want to define "love"

[Kelsk]

My first love was when I was 16. It failed, besides, we have both changed so much and I think it was a stupid relationship anyway. Even if it did last 2 years.

With my second one now, going well apart from her damn stalker ex-boyfriend...

I can't really tell you what love feels like. However with me it gives me more meaning to my life... However, I must urge warning when going into a relationship. Although they can feel good they also hurt like *$£^ if they end.
I find a lot of people marely use each other and the most common dumping qoute is "I'm bored of you".. Which I just find sickening.

[Dc_Veggie]

I'm in love with my best friend Raychel. She's jsut everything. I mean she's someone I can talk to and everything. And I'm going to prom with her! YEPPIE!

[skunkpumpkin]

I have a new question: how do you move on after failed love?

not a failed relationship, it never got that far.

?

[calidreamin]

I have a new question: how do you move on after failed love?

not a failed relationship, it never got that far.

?

Wow, yeah, I was just in that EXACT situation autumn of last year. So hard for me to even like a guy, and I found one, I fell so hard. amazing and I can't believe the feeling that consumed me and that I just lived breathed him...for a month and a half. It actually took me about month after we broke up to realize I had been in love with him. Not just in deep infatuation or lust, he actually wasn't that physically attractive (I actually remember thinking he was unattractive before we started talking!), but everything about him...his mannerisms, what he said, what he thought about things, just what he was, god i can't even explain it...we could just talk for hours and hours late into the night, I could say anything to him, and it had never been like that with a guy before. But sadly, the kid is troubled, we got into like this downward spiral and, we broke up a month and half later, actually he broke up with me. I wanted to work things out, but I acted stupid and was clingy and turned him off of me like that completely. Yet I know deep down he didn't want to break up, really...it was just a very frustrating and dramatic situation we got into. And that knowledge made it rougher to move on with life. But anyways. Getting over him, it was not easy. It's actually the toughest thing I have gone through in life thus far, and I've gone through enough. I cried endlessly and mulled things over in my brain nonstop, what could I have done to make it not be this way? How can I deal with the fact that I will never get to be able to get to know him as I want to, always be there for him, love him and have amazing experiences with him , be there for him, for who knows how long to come, like I wanted to, like I dreamed of? How can I get over him when I'm so sure he was the right one for me? I just thought a million things like that over and over. It took me at least three good months to get over it as much as I am today. It kind of came in a revelation, it just kind of occurred to me: he truly wasn't right for me. He couldn't fully appreciate some of the core qualities of me, like what he called my tendency to overthink things, but I just think of as being insightful and really in touch with what I'm feeling. A guy who is truly perfect for me will appreciate that about me--not hate it. Since everyone is different, and everyone's experiences are different, really, there's no one right way to get over a lost love. People can suggest all they want but often it doesn't seem to help. Really you jsut need to figure it out yourself. Maybe something someone wil lsay will affect the way you are thinking about a situation. But you really need to digest and think through the information yourself. I guess I could suggest trying to think of the reasons why you two actually could have never worked out, was there something he/she didn't like about you that you could never change, nor do you really want to? That's something. I don't really know your situation and the exact thoughts you're thinking. But I can wish you good luck in getting over it. I know it was so, so hard for me. But know that it won't be the same forever, someday you'll be over it. You'll find an amazing guy/girl that can be what your lost love never could be for you. People break up for a reason. And if you were meant to be together, it'll happen, eventually. But just moving on with life, is a good thing to try... I don't know. I've finally put myself "back on the market" four and a half months later, just this week...heh. It took a lot to get me here, a lot of thinking and relizations I guess. Everyone has a different way of doing things. Just, good luck. Yeah. Sorry that was so long, and if I rambled in some parts. Or all of it. lol.

[skunkpumpkin]

hey calidreamin, i enjoyed your response.

The thing is, i don't even know if i want to get over him. He was the only guy. No one else seemed worthwhile at all.

How do I know that it can't work out later on? this is my situation:

For a year and a half, i have been fascinated by this particular boy. Had i not pursued his friendship, I probably wouldn't know him now--he's the type that let's people come to him. Most of this time was spent being silent and observant, and only this school year have we truly become friends. He's caught on, though. He knows I'm into him but he really doesn't know how deeply I am into him. He confronted me with this and told me that he wasn't really into me...but he wants for us to be friends because I'm supposedly "f*ckin amazing." me talked a long time about it, he was so kind and understanding...made me love him even more. I just think he's the most beautiful person and I can't imagine loving anyone else. We're closer than ever and i'm fairly content, but i just want more. Tell me what you think about it...should I try my best to move on? it's not as if he disliked one of my inherent qualities or anything, we get along so well. I don't understand why it's not reciprocated.

[calidreamin]

at first you asked, "how do you move on after failed love?". But then you say, do you really want to move on, since he's this awesome guy. Since nothing actually went wrong that would probably be an awful thing to try and just get over and move on from. But sometimes great friendships blossom into romantic relationships, sometimes they don't. The way you kind of need to look at it is, if he never comes around and never sees you as more than just a friend, he was never able to look at you in that romantic way, it really WASN'T this perfect relationship that was meant to be, but never will. Because you weren't exactly what he wanted and needed in a romantic partner. That has NOTHING to do with anything being wrong with you, it just means people are different and everyone looks for different things in their partner. And it may seem hard to believe, but you will fall in love again if you never have anything more than a friendship with this guy. There's isn't just one amazing person in this world, even though it seems SO hard to believe sometimes when you are so in love with one person and can't accept anyone could be better than him or her...well really it's not necessarily that another person has to be BETTER, I don't know, I personally can't compare people because every person is different and it just doesn't make sense to me to compare people (I hope that makes sense lol). But there are so many great people, and you will find one, and you will both love eachother the same way, equally. Until that happens, I'm going to say something a really intellgent and great friend told me once, in a metaphor I'm probably going to ruin from what he orignally said, but basically it was this: you can't keep your door closed completely. It may seem hard, but leave the door open a little bit...don't just ignore all the other people that exist in this world because you think no one will ever be like this guy you have fallen for so much right now. If this guy is in your future as more than a wonderful friend, then it will happen...somehow...for now, just continue to appreciate his friendship, and leave your options open as much as posible. yeah it doesn't seem like there's a point to that right now, but really other great people do exist, which I think I've said like sixteen other times in this big long post. I mean, you're still young. you have a whole life ahead of you. High school romances staying together forever are by far in the minority (even though my parents did just that). Peopel change, their ideas, morals, what they want from life changes and two people with amazing chemistry, two people that seemed absolutely perfect for each other and near-harmonious in high school just aren't like that twenty years down the road sometimes. Just think of how you've changed in the past five years...you were probably really different in a lot of ways. Think of how reaching adulthood and going out into the real world and facing things you never faced before will change you...you can't really even predict it. But for now I think you don't necessarily need to move on from being in love with this guy, but maybe try to put a wall between the thought of you needing him to be more than friend, just try not to think about it so much like that. Life will take you where you're supposed to go. I don't know. I hope that helps somewhat, it's my two cents. I usually am bad at advice because I really have to know the people and the situation to get it right (which is why I always tell my best friend exactly what she should do in a situation, and of course she doesn't listen because she's so stubborn, but two weeks later she realizes I was exactly right and eventually does it. heh.) sorry i write such long messages too. i always get told i'm too long-winded, my english teacher actually writes that on my report card every time and just slashes out whole paragraphs in my writing. hehe. but...good luck in whatever you decide to do.