I have only been a veggie for about a year or so and my husband is an omni. I have a 2 1/2 yr old and a 6 mo old and while I have read MANY books about just the health benefits alone for being vegetarian, I am confused as to what to do with my kids. I kinda feel like I would want them to be old enough to choose what they want, but like I said, I also want the best for them and want them to know the many resons for being vegetarian/vegan (ethical, enviornmental, health) My 2 yr old hardly ever eats meat (doesnt like it) or milk, though she loves cheese, and my 6 mo old is just starting solids, so hes only getting fruits, veggies, and cereal. But I was just wondering if anyone else felt that it should be up to the child when they are old enough to understand or not? Any stories or opinions would be appreciated.
thanks

How important is it to you that your children become vegetarians? Because personally I think it's much easier to abstain from foods that we never acquire the taste for.

I am raising my kids as veganish vegetarians. They are 98% vegan at home, but eat dairy occasionally, when out with friends. This way, their social lives do not suffer because of their diet. They can still eat birthday cakes, cheese pizza, etc.

I never felt the need to give them a choice in the matter. As parents we make a lot of choices for our children. They are all complete vegetarians today and 3 of them plan on becoming 100% vegan. It's just normal for them not to eat meat.

Kids are 22, 18, 16, 10 & 7

How important is it to you that your children become vegetarians? Because personally I think it's much easier to abstain from foods that we never acquire the taste for.

When I read your post, the same question popped into my head.


Another way to think about it, would you hit the roof if grandma served your kids turkey at thanksgiving? Other situations like these? Is your husband in support of raising the kids as vegetarian? (vegan?)

I don't have kids yet, as we are going to start trying next year. My husband and I have discussed this topic at length. Personally, I am not objected to my future children eating meat. While I care about Animal Rights and the environment, my reasons for being vegetarian are primarily for my own health and well being.

So, I suggest think about why you are vegetarian, about certain situations that may involve meat and find a happy medium with your husband.

I would raise my kids vegan (not being too much of a nazi in social situations, etc), until they are old enough to make up their minds. Veganism would be the default, they would have to consciously choose and want that animals are killed for their food (which doesn't seem very likely), not the other way around!

thank you for the replys... like I said, my 6 mo old is just starting out, and for the most part my 2 yr old doesnt eat much meat. in fact, she hates red meat, but occasionally eats chicken with my husband (though thats actually pretty rare). I think I am pretty content with the way it is now, b/c I am home with them all day and during that time they eat vegetarian meals. Since I am still not 100% vegan as far as eating anyways (though I want to get there!) I think that having them eat mostly veg is good for now and as they get older I would like them to decide for themselves, but I appreciate other peoples input!!!

I have only been a veggie for about a year or so and my husband is an omni. I have a 2 1/2 yr old and a 6 mo old and while I have read MANY books about just the health benefits alone for being vegetarian, I am confused as to what to do with my kids. I kinda feel like I would want them to be old enough to choose what they want, but like I said, I also want the best for them and want them to know the many resons for being vegetarian/vegan (ethical, enviornmental, health) My 2 yr old hardly ever eats meat (doesnt like it) or milk, though she loves cheese, and my 6 mo old is just starting solids, so hes only getting fruits, veggies, and cereal. But I was just wondering if anyone else felt that it should be up to the child when they are old enough to understand or not? Any stories or opinions would be appreciated.
thanks

I was raised in a very strict religious household, and as a reaction to that I really believe that it is best to raise children with moderation. If your daughter doesn't like meat, she doesn't have to eat it. But (particularly since you are married to an omni) if she has the desire at some point to eat some it should for the most part, be a choice she can make. If you weren't married to an omni, it would be different...but you are. I became veg*n when my daughter was four. She'd already experienced meat and loved it. So my solution to this is that I don't purchase meat to have in the house. It's just our rule. She can choose meat when we go out, or when she eats at school. Meanwhile she's very interested in my diet and we talk about why I eat the way I do. I never want her to feel it's something that is 'forced' on her because I suddenly chose to eat differently. That's what my parents did that was wrong....they suddenly became tongue talking christians with radical right wing beliefs (they went from beer guzzling heathens to this) and in the process, our feelings/ideas/thoughts were never honored or thought of. We just always had these beliefs imposed on us, and were never allowed to make choices for ourselves. I think the most/best you can do is set a good example and let your children know why you choose the way you do. And then also honor them by allowing them to make their own choices (within reason).

Here's my basic parenting theory...

Imposing a belief system on a child (or any human being) = eventual retaliation/reaction/rebellion
giving children information/knowledge tools with which to make good decisions themselves= one heck of a smart grown-up person.

And of course there are holes in my theory. If only we could all just be perfect parents. Ah well....

not that I've answered your questions, but good luck!

B

How important is it to you that your children become vegetarians? Because personally I think it's much easier to abstain from foods that we never acquire the taste for.

I am raising my kids as veganish vegetarians. They are 98% vegan at home, but eat dairy occasionally, when out with friends. This way, their social lives do not suffer because of their diet. They can still eat birthday cakes, cheese pizza, etc.

I never felt the need to give them a choice in the matter. As parents we make a lot of choices for our children. They are all complete vegetarians today and 3 of them plan on becoming 100% vegan. It's just normal for them not to eat meat.

Kids are 22, 18, 16, 10 & 7

That sounds great mushroom! It's true that if you never acquire a taste for meat, it's not such a sacrifice.

I am four months pregnant with my first child. I have been veg for 12 years and mostly vegan for the last few years (I cook vegan at home but eat Indian food often which contains some dairy.)

My husband has been veg for about 5 years and we are definitely planning on raising our kids to be vegetarian.

I want to feed my child healthy, unprocessed, plant-based foods right from the get-go. I also plan on explaining to him/her at a very young age why we do not eat meat. I think most children love animals and if they know what meat is, they won't want to eat it either. I'll definitely explain that not all people feel the same way as we do, so s/he understands that people who choose to eat meat aren't bad people.

However, I don't see myself as being a rigid parent about it. I'll serve vegetarian food only to my kids and keep them away from animal products while they are very small but once they are old enough if they wish to try meat at a friend's house I don't think I'd freak out about it. I just want to make sure they understand what it is and why we choose not to eat it.

I don't see how raising my kids vegetarian is "forcing" anything on them. It is no different than feeding your kids meat which is also "forcing" a different choice on them. I was raised eating junk food and hamburgers and I wish I had ate more healthfully when I was a child, but that was not my choice to make. My mom did what she knew best at the time and I will now do what I know best.

I really envy all of you. I am a veg and very happy being one. I want to raise both of my kids veg (2 1/2 and 13 months) but I get a lot of crap from my family. My husband is a GIVE ME RED MEAT omni (carni) and my family -- who I feed on a daily basis -- which includes my hubby, mom and dad -- are all omnis. They told me "you better not be making these babies vegetarian or we will take them away from you" and they use scare tactics all the time. I don't really care however, because during the day when they are all at work, they eat with me. My son barely eats any meat...he doesn't like it...and my daughter (13 mos) HATES meat. In fact, they both eat organic, whole foods. I cringe when they (my family) start throwing filet and other dead animal in front of them. My son chews it and spits it out.

What a happy existence it would be if we could all be veg..you know? Those of you who are in a family/relationship with a fellow vegetarian or vegan...count your lucky stars.

As for me...I will continue doing what I am doing...at least that helps them MOST of the time. My son has an attraction to tofu...and he loves soymilk (so does my daughter...when she is not breastfeeding, she drinks soy...we have absolutely no cows milk in my house)

Okay, stopping my rant now...

Sarah :hi:

I kinda feel like I would want them to be old enough to choose what they want

No matter what diet you feed them now, you ARE deciding for them. So, since you are or were deciding to feed them animal flesh, why not go ahead and decide for them to NOT eat it. Then, when they are old enough to decide for themselves, let them choose what diet they prefer.

I think people need to get out of the mindstate that deciding to feed their children a veg*n diet is forcing something on them and not letting them decide. If you are feeding them flesh, the same can be said, that you are forcing something on them and not letting them decide. So, as the parent, especially being a veg*n, it is definately best to feed them what you yourself eat.

I actually agree with FR - whether you feed them meat or a veggie diet, you are imposing your beliefs on them. How can you NOT impose your beliefs on your own children?

Raise them as vegetarians and if they choose to eat meat on their own, that is their choice.

I don't see how it is any different than raising kids as omnis, then having them choose to become vegetarians later.

amy

Raise them vegetarian. It's true that if they develop no taste for meat, there is no issue of being torn between taste/comfort and values. I was never fed meat and it may sometimes make it easier for me to stick by values than someone who has cravings and remembrances of good times with turkey, steak, etc. In the end, they will be able to decide for themselves what they eat. For now, you get to decide.

"But I was just wondering if anyone else felt that it should be up to the child when they are old enough to understand or not?"

I think this is very true but they can decide to eat meat when they are older if that is their choice.

We are just making the switch for our kids. I have two sons (4&5) from my first marriage. For the younger child it will be a non-issue. He HATES meat. Will sit at the table for 15 minutes chewing it and eventually gag on it. For the older boy it will be more of a challenge. He loves it. We bought some subs though (veggie-burgers & mini corn dogs) on our first big shopping trip. I was so tickled yesterday. We got the boys to eat mushrooms on their salads. The verdict? Delicious!

kids will eat whatever they choose eventually anyway.. being vegetarian is as much a choice as being omni! my parents never told me i wasn't allowed to eat meat.. in fact they'd let the meat-freaks in my school make me try meat, and i always hated that. but now i undesrtand that they wanted me to always live by my own convictions and they wanted me to realize that even at 3 years old it was my own decision to be a vegetarian. and most kids love animals.. it really isn't hard at all to show them the compassionate way, you just have to tell them where meat comes from :)

. it really isn't hard at all to show them the compassionate way, you just have to tell them where meat comes from :)

Unfortunately I tried that with my exceedingly rational, science-minded oldest, when he was about 3 (and periodically ever since). His answer (with a terrible roll-eyes that I wasn't expecting for at least another ten years) was "well, mum, it's the food chain and we're at the top of it"

The 'aren't they cute and fluffy' argument just never worked with him. Damn it.

xxA

No matter what diet you feed them now, you ARE deciding for them. So, since you are or were deciding to feed them animal flesh, why not go ahead and decide for them to NOT eat it. Then, when they are old enough to decide for themselves, let them choose what diet they prefer.

I think people need to get out of the mindstate that deciding to feed their children a veg*n diet is forcing something on them and not letting them decide. If you are feeding them flesh, the same can be said, that you are forcing something on them and not letting them decide. So, as the parent, especially being a veg*n, it is definitely best to feed them what you yourself eat.

*Scratches head* I dunno. Giving a kid something to try, along with the option/right not to like it, doesn't equal forcing anything on him/her.

Maybe I'm just odd, but as long as she gets the proper nutrition, my one-year-old daughter can eat or not eat whatever she wants. Occasionally, I offer her meat when we visit the omni in-laws. She has yet to bite. But it's her choice - I think empowering children to trust their instincts and make their own non-harmful choices is important to their development.

Now, I'm sure that our example influences her, but we're not forcing one thing or the other. She sees that we don't eat meat, so she instinctively doesn't want it.

Actually, we were recently at the in-laws and my mil had bought Aria some baby-sized turkey sticks. I handed Aria one, she looked at it for a bit, sniffed it, made a face, and held it up to "share." I said, "No, honey, Daddy doesn't eat meat. But thank you."

She looked at it again, grinned, and lobbed it on the floor!

I had quite a difficult time containing my laughter in front of the in-laws. But I did (hee-hee) reprimand her for throwing food on the floor....

But it's her choice - I think empowering children to trust their instincts and make their own non-harmful choices is important to their development.



Eating meat is nonharmful to whom? It's not good for humans and certainly isn't nonharmful to animals. When kids are old enough to make the choice then it's up to them but I'd certainly start my kid out on the right track before that. I wouldn't offer them meat as a baby just to appease the in-laws.

I did a lot of baby sitting as a teenager and now have several nephews/nieces. I don't remember any of these kids ever being gung-ho for meat at first. Maybe human babies are born with an instinct to not act like a carnivore and don't "choose" to eat meat until it's shoved at them all the time and called "normal." Just my opinion of course.

I don't think giving the child an option to try it is the end of the world. I'd much rather she have the strength of her own opinions backing her when she goes to school and is faced with what is, in fact, normal (by societal standards, not by physical design), than to treat it as taboo and have her rebel.

BTW, we're not appeasing the in-laws. That's just the only time meat is present. I'm certainly not going to go out and buy it, just so she can refuse it and it can end up in the trash.

My baby (who's now 4) absolutely loves our move to veggie. We would have daily scenes at the dinner table where he would refuse to eat his "meaty". You'd think it would have clicked in my head sooner that if he (who loves almost everything non-meat and will try anything) wouldn't eat it, why should the rest of us?

It's funny to me when people say they don't want to force their beliefs on their children or what not, as if the majority view is the right one, and of course us weirdo veg*ns are wrong. Same with religion. I am saddened that I was fed meat, what sort of choice is that? everyone eats vegetarian foods, that's a given. Not everyone eats dead animals. I'll be raising my kids as veg*ns and hopefully they'll continue with that in their teen/adult life. To raise them as omnivores conditions them to death as food without assuring they're old enough to understand it first.

(*Psssst.... I am not a parent, but rather a well-raised child, okay?*)

Part of a parent's job is to impart morals and beliefs to their children. If children do not get a strong moral base from their parents, they will get it from their outside environment. The parent should provide a standard to compare everything else to. Ultimately, into adulthood, the child may reject what was taught by the parent, but the child has at least had an oppurtunity to think about why he has adopted his beliefs. Parents are guides, and should lead.

With this thought in mind, I say more power to you. Teach your child about being vegetarian and why the family has chosen to be that way. Tell them the rest of the world does not share your values. There are a lot of values that I was taught that did not agree with what everyone else did. The most important lesson I learned was to stand my ground. I grew up eating meat, but now I have the strength and conviction to tell others that I don't eat meat because I don't think it's necessary for animals to suffer so I can eat.

It's also valuable that you will impart your children with knowledge about nutrition. Though they might go through the usual phase (as a teen or in college or both) of living off Hostess cupcakes and hotdogs, they will have a healthy lifestyle to return to.

In short, more power to you! :bobo:

It's funny to me when people say they don't want to force their beliefs on their children or what not, as if the majority view is the right one, and of course us weirdo veg*ns are wrong. Same with religion. I am saddened that I was fed meat, what sort of choice is that? everyone eats vegetarian foods, that's a given. Not everyone eats dead animals. I'll be raising my kids as veg*ns and hopefully they'll continue with that in their teen/adult life. To raise them as omnivores conditions them to death as food without assuring they're old enough to understand it first.

Just curious...what does not forcing your beliefs on your children have to do with the majority view being the right one? Just because I'm not forcing my child to be veg*n (or omni, for that matter) doesn't mean I think the majority is right. Obviously, if I thought the omnivorous majority was right, I'd be a part of it!

None of this changes the fact that, at least in the States, omnis are the majority. veggie kids are going to have to deal with that, and (as I've said before) the strength of their own convictions is going to carry them farther that their parents' forced beliefs.

As far as diet goes, I'd much rather lead by example than by force. I maintain that if a child thinks something is being withheld from them, then that thing becomes all the more attractive to them. But even a one-year-old can understand that his parents don't eat meat. Do all children see this, and subsequently choose not to eat meat on the occasions that it is available to them? I can't say, but mine chooses not to eat it. And that reinforces the child's capacity to effect choices - a simple but good foundation for a healthy self esteem later on.

Same with religion. You can drag a child to all the sermons or masses or coven meetings you want, but the child's moral behavior is modeled by your example, not by ritual and dogma. When she is old enough, I will make sure my child has an opportunity to visit synagogues, churches, mosques, covens and anything else that interests her (outside of anything involving ritualistic harm). She will know how her mother believes, and how I believe (two radically different schools of thought) and she will learn to make well-informed choices. And even if she ultimately chooses to be a Fundy, I will support that, no matter how much I may disagree with it.

I regret that all of this may offend some of you, but that's just how I feel about it. I think kids are far more perceptive than most adults give them credit for.

Just curious...what does not forcing your beliefs on your children have to do with the majority view being the right one?

Parents decide what to feed their kids. A baby doesn't pop out of the womb asking for a certain type of food. It is a parent's decision on what food to give the child. Feeding the child vegetarian food only or feeding the child meat is a decision, whether it is conscious or not. So I agree with the point that no matter what you are feeding your kids, you are still "forcing" a style of eating on them. Kids are generally fed what the parents eat. If the parents eat healthy foods, they give healthy foods to the kids.

I think a lot of parents nowadays let their kids run the show and at a very early age they let the children decide what they will eat. I think that is dangerous and is what leads to too many kids wanting junk food all the time. Parents need to remember who the parent is. Encourage children to make decisions by giving them choices, but give them healthy options to choose from (ie 'Would you rather have an apple or a banana?' NOT 'What do you want to eat?')

I plan on feeding my child only healthy vegetarian foods and by the time he is old enough to understand I will explain what meat is and why we choose not to eat it. I think most kids tends to love animals and have a certain aversion to meat anyway. By the time he is old enough to go somewhere by himself, it will be up to him to decide what he wants to try or not, but hopefully he will have an understanding on why it is important to eat healthy foods and he will make healthy choices.

It's appearing that we are all arguing from the same side of the fence. I don't think any of us really want our children to be omnis, because we know it's not the greatest thing in the world for health/environment. And of course what the parent eats will affect what the child eats. My wife and I are vegan, so the chances of our child seeing either of us munching on a pork chop (or twinkie or half-gallon of double fudge ice cream) are about as great as seeing Pat Robertson read tea leaves.

I just think that by having been allowed meat (albeit not at home) a kid knows what it is that you're not choosing to eat, and by reference, will most likely not choose it for themselves. It's worked for me - I'm not saying whether or not it will work for everyone else, but it is a valid option.