plastic surgery and my teenage brother

[punkmommy]

I was at my mom's house today and on top of her desk was a surgery worksheet form the Plastic Surgeon's office she works at (she's a medical estethician). The problem is the paper was about my 15 yr old bother. It detailed rhinoplasty (nose job), chin implant and something else I couldn't read.

My mom tried convincing me at his age to have a nose job (she herself has had 4) , and I almost did, but decided that I didn't want to change myself. I found this so depressing. My brother is handsome (hey, we're a good looking family :lol: ). He's almost 6ft tall, plays football and is still growing/changing. I woudn't want him to make a decision based on her pressure.

I don't know if this is something he's even been consulted about. I guess I'll have to talk to him and find out if this is something he thinks he needs or something our mom thinks he needs :(

[webbum]

Isn't he still growing at 15? I'm surprised they would let him have the chin implant.

[veg*nfrog]

I've always been under the impression that plastic surgeons discouraged surgery, unless medically necessary, for young teens. But what do I know? I can understand a 15 year old girl with DDD breasts on a small frame getting a reduction, but a nose job and chin implant at that age? Your body is definately still maturing/changing as is your mind.

No offense, but it sounds like your mom is a little cosmetic surgery obsessed. Talk to your brother. If this is something he wants, try to talk him into waiting a few years. We are all self-conscious at that age, comes with the territory, but to permanently alter your body is serious stuff. As an adult if he still wants the surgery, that's another story.

Why would a mom try to talk her teenage child into surgery? What about self-acceptance, as is? (Once again, no offense) Sounds like you could be an important role-model for little brother.

[kristadb]

I agree; most surgeons won't do plastic surgery unless it's a physical health thing (ie large breasts, nose that isn't shape properly so it's hard to breath, etc). They won't usually do the cosmetic surgeries.

So, that brings to the point that if the surgeon goes through with it, then I would report him/her to the board of ethics. Even if nothing is done, the surgeon will be less likely to consider doing cosmetic surgeries on teens.

[punkmommy]

I definetly have to talk to my bro. He lives about 5 hrs away, so he's only up about every other month or so, but we keep in touch through IM's and phone calls.

The thing that worries me is that on the surgical worksheet, it had the total price- so from what I can assume, they have no problem doing work on him. My mom's pretty good at manipulating circumstances so that it would seem "medically necessary" for my brother to have plastic surgery. When she wanted me to have stuff done, she would have my nose diagnosed as a deviated septum (she's had 4 deviated septums :rolleyes ). I'd love to get into what she thinks about self-acceptace, but that'd take up another thread :lol:

[1984]

Does your mother know Michael Jackson by any chance?

[punkmommy]

Hahah, you might think so! Nah, it's not that bad- but I'm glad I'm unaltered ( hmm, that didn't sound right...)

[kristadb]

punk,

I totally support the notion of talking to your brother directly. he may not even know about it!

If his breathing is not interferred, then it is doubtful he needs the surgery...unless his nose is absolutely huge. Not big. Huge. makes his head fall forward huge.

[punkmommy]

:lol: no, I don't even think it would qualify as big!

[monkeyandbunny]

:stinkeye: 15 years old???? Plastic surgery? Sometimes boys don't stop growing until they are in thier 20s. Certain cosmetic procedures such as, correcting dumbo ears, breast reduction or cosmetic bonding for a gap between the teeth.A nose job??? Chin implants? If he really wants this done, I think he can save his own money and wait until he's in his 20s.

This reminds me, when I was in high school one of my classmates had a nose job (and a boob job and liposuction and cheek implants and was soooo artificially tan she looked like a handbag) At the age of 29 she is almost unrecognizable, she looks like she's melting.

[MsRuthieB]

Wow..that's seriously effed up to say the least.

[bethanie]

Ick, why does your Mom want you guys' nose to look differently? That makes me so sad Punkmommy. As you must know having your own child...parenting is soooo all about seeing your children as beautiful. You're Mom has some serious issues if she's this intent on changing not her...but YOUR and your brothers physical appearance. Though you have mentioned before I think that she's not quite balanced. Man you weren't kidding.

B

[Nicky]

Aww punkmonkey, that's sad. I can't believe your mum would want your brother to make such a life altering decision at that age, something that will be permanant for the rest of his life.

Have you tried talking to your mum about it? I know it probably won't change her mind or help the situation much, but it could help you understand where she is coming from.

As for your brother, I would definately try to talk to him about the issue, maybe even in person if you can. On the phone or IM he can easily avoid the issue if he so desires. Maybe try not to discourage the surgery but rather try and make him delay it till he is fully grown/adult when he can make a better decision.

Maybe you could talk to him about the fact that your mum tried the same thing on with you, and tell him why you made the decision not to have surgery and how glad you are that you didn't. That could help.

Hope everything works out, it sounds like a pretty delicate situation. In the end all you can do is try your best :) Good luck :)