OK, I guess I'll start at the beginning:

I was with my ex all thru high school and lived together for a year after. We were friends with all the same people. About 4 years ago I broke up w/him and started going out w/a mutual friend. We moved in together it's everything's been all good :) Except that we (me&my current b/f) both lost all our friends in the break-up, including my best friend of 11 years. I admit I was kinda a bitch to my ex in the break-up, I fooled around w/my current b/f while we were still together, etc.

But it's kinda depressing that now we have no friends at all. Some people will be nice and talk to us when they see us, but there is no effort to get together or anything like that. We are not very social people, and don't really mind not having friends... but it's rough around the holidays when everyone is having parties and doing fun stuff together. I even considered going to a halloween party at the house of the daughter of a lady I used to work with, even though I've only met her once. And I don't really like anyone in my family, so I don't have fun at those parties either...

I don't know... I guess I'm just looking for some people to do stuff with. Watch movies, "hang out", go to concerts, parties...that kind of crap. But there is no one at school I can see getting along with. And people around here are kinda, I don't know, annoying... And I really don't know why I'm posting this on here... I don't want this to be like a personal ad or anything... I guess I just wanted to vent a little :)

So, sorry for the rambling... but thanks if you read this and care at all :p
niny

Sorry to hear about your troubles. Life changes frequently, as do friends and your relationships with them. I'm sure you'll be fine, it just might take a little while to find new friends. Are you involved in any social activities, or work? Is there anyone you like there? Maybe do some volunteer work if you can, that way you might be able to find some like minded people. Good Luck!

If there´s anything I´ve found out since starting college, it´s that friends don´t normally find me-- I have to be the one to ask ¨Hey do you want to go to such-and-such a concert/movie/ballgame etc?¨ If I sit and wait for people to suggest things, then normally I´ll end up sitting and waiting.

Punkmommy is soooo right--volunteering is a great way to meet like-minded people!

The people who talk to you when they see you might be feeling the same way about you as you do about them--I bet if you invited a couple of them out to a movie or a concert or something, they'd go along. Maybe they think YOU'RE not interested in hanging out with them?

Also, if you have any interests (like painting or writing or cars or bonsai trees or anything), look to see if there's a group in your area. If not, put an ad on-line to see if anyone in your area would be interested in forming such a special-interest group.

And remember--even if we can't go to movies with you, you've got plenty of friends on VB.

I can't believe no one has mentioned it yet but veg societies are also a very good way to meet people

I'm in the same boat as you.I didn't make many friends in college b/c I'm not the most social person, and the few good friends I have from high school have all moved far away. My boyfriend is the same way. We just hang out with eachother for the most part. I've tried to be more proactive about getting out to meet people. I do volunteer work on the weekends, and I've met some nice people, but they're more acquaintances than friends. Tomorrow I'm making myself go to a Boston veg society event, so we'll see how that turns out! At any rate, I know exactly how you feel! :)

been living in town by myself for ages. friends all went to city to waste money persuing things they didnt want to do. and I am here, if im not working, time is wasting. its extremly depressing, but im not the type of guy to do anything about it.

Yes, I know I have to be more proactive about the whole making friends thing, but I'm pretty lazy :p Anyhoo...I'm really not all that worried about it, I was just feeling depressed cuz I was talking to an aquaintance and found out we were friends with the same people in high school. And that's how that goes.

Maybe I'll check out the Boston veg society since I'm in the area and it sounds pretty interesting. Volunteering sounds good too, but like I said...I'm damn lazy. And I got laid off work so I should probly find a paying job before I sign up to give away my time for free :)

Thanks for your support and it's nice to know there are other people in the same boat as me :) Woo-hoo for the friendless :p

hiya

one thing - you said you "even considered going to a halloween party at the house of the daughter of a lady I used to work with, even though I've only met her once"

I would recommend going to these sorts of parties/gatherings/trips out (you know, where you are somehow invited to an 'event' where you probably arent going to know everyone). Its a good way of meeting new people / "broaden my social circle". If it turns out you dont really want to hang out again with the people youve met, well at least youve hopefully still had an ok night out. And who knows, it might lead to more invitations to go out and see films or whatever. Nothing to lose. and as Skylark says, it helps to 'ask' people too rather than waiting for others to invite you out.

(ps. im speaking from experience :rockon: ).

:hug:

Ninypants (cute name)


When I was stationed in Belgium, we had a really tiny American community, and most everyone thought I was such a b for leaving my then husband. I ended up inviting over a few of the women I didnt know really well, but whose (british) husbands/ boyfriends I worked with. I hate big social gatherings, so I just asked 3 women over to my house and I cooked a ton of veggie food, I was so nervous, but they all showed up, we had a blast, and I ended up hanging out with them all loads afterwards. I was also dating a Brit at the time from work, so we became a pretty close group.

Course then I got orders and moved here. :down: Man Mississippi sucks. I miss my friends.

Hey Ninypants :)

I definately suggest going to the halloween party. I think to get anywhere socially you just have to put yourself out there. What have you got to loose? And if you go along with your boyfriend, you'll have someone to hang out with all night, you won't be left in the corner, so to speak :)

Also joining a club or taking up a new sport is always a good way to make friends. I play soccer for the school team, and I now have a new group of friends. Ones I never would have met if I hadn't have given it a go. I same goes for my touch team.

Good luck with it all, I'm sure things will turn out fine :) You sound like a really nice person and I'm sure people will see that! :up:

I agree with all the above.

I am 40 y.o. now and there have been several big changes in my friends. Things happen, people change, you lose touch... sometimes you just need a couple of new friends and you are right about choosing to DO something about that !

My current friends are mostly people I met through various jobs (I temped a lot at one time and met tons of people that way). Others came through various leisure activities, sports, other interests.

But you have to be bold and invite people for a drink sometimes. Lots of people are shy at first contact. I have sometimes simply approached someone I met at a weekend course asking "hey, can I have your phone number, I would like to stay in touch with you" and been accepted. The worst you risk is that the person would be evasive or say right out "no I'd rather not". Once you have a way to contact the person, you can go ahead and invite him/her to lunch/for drinks together and so develop a friendly relationship.

I would recommend working (not only for meeting people of course) and seeking some meaningful activities after work as well. You will meet likeminded people through these occupations. The thing is to step forward and, of course, to accept invitations which are extended to you (even if you feel shy, think you don't know anybody there, etc...). Worst case scenario is that you spend 30-60 minutes in a place/with people which don't feel right to you at all and you find yourself a way out. No commitment is mandatory, IMHO you can always step out gracefully.

Good luck and keep us posted !

Kim

Wow do I feel your pain!! I relocated to a new city and basically had to start over - new job, new contacts, new church, new friends. I too just want a group to hang with, discuss the tv shows with, go to parties with etc. etc. It hasn't helped that I had a great network in my old town. I am trying to be as active as possible - I am volunteering, and I go to these food lecture classes at the Wild Oats store near me. I am also trying to be super active in my church - joined the choir and a small faith sharing group. I do have one friend that I can hang with, so I kind of leech onto her social life, but I too want my own group. Good luck - you aren't alone in your dilemma.

:sunny: Yo Ninypants! I luv your avatar! sheep rock! lol but yea, as far as veggie boards go, check out a board thats local for you, and post there to find peeps localy! As far as in your town goes, volunteering IS a great thing to do! Or if you dont work, get a part time job that involves dealing with people! I can gaurntee that after working with your co-workers for a while you guys will start to chill! Thats what happend to me! Ummm just hang out places, coffee shops, librarys, (i know its odd, but ive met cool people at the library!) just get out there and make your self known! :hamster:
Aslo, remember that your super lucky to have your b/f! Think of what it would be like if you lost your friends, AND you didnt have a partner! :o now that would suck!! xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxooxoxxooxoxoxxoxooxxoxoxo