OK, Im not trying to be perverted or graphic here in any way.

Ive been single for over a year now. Ive dated a bit, but nothing that really goes anywhere. Right now, the dating scene is looking mightily bleak, but I am to the point of being turned off by dating the wrong type of men. I am not willing to date just anyone for the sake of dating.

The big problem is after a while I start to feel skin hunger. You know what that is. Its not even so much a sexual thing as a comfort issue. Holding hands. Cheeks touching. Spooning. I guess its the warmth of another human being.

How does everyone else handle this??? :think:

I know how you feel.

I'm a very affectionate, touchy-feely person (with people I feel comfortable with), so being single is terrible. My family isn't very physically demonstrative, so when I see them, I might get a quick one armed hug or a peck on the cheek, but I don't have anyone to cuddle with.

I can lean on a friend's shoulder every once in a great while, but sometimes weeks can pass without so much as a single handclasp or pat on the back, and that's hard for me to bear.

If I had a good way to cope with it, I would, but I don't. All I can say is that I know how you feel because I have felt it and still feel it.

I hope you feel better. *hugs*

I know how you feel too - I swear I go months without anyone actually touching me. I don't really think there's anyway to deal with it except to keep busy and try not to think of it. Not that that works very well...

Hey everyone. Wierd that I read this b/c I was having a related discussion with a friend of mine tonight. We both swing dance socially and thought about how it is good for us in many ways.
One of the ways is that it gives you a source of comforting (non-sexual) touch. So, if it is something you might be interested in, learn to partner dance! It is great exercise and very social (in this cranially-dominated world of ours). Just a thought. Good luck,
-Anne

I know how you feel.

I'm a very affectionate, touchy-feely person (with people I feel comfortable with), so being single is terrible. My family isn't very physically demonstrative, so when I see them, I might get a quick one armed hug or a peck on the cheek, but I don't have anyone to cuddle with.

I can lean on a friend's shoulder every once in a great while, but sometimes weeks can pass without so much as a single handclasp or pat on the back, and that's hard for me to bear.

If I had a good way to cope with it, I would, but I don't. All I can say is that I know how you feel because I have felt it and still feel it.

I hope you feel better. *hugs*


that's exactly me. it's not a good feeling when you haven't had much of a touch. i am sooo affectionate it's silly. i don't have anyone who is just as affectionate right now. and i really wish i did.

OK, Im not trying to be perverted or graphic here in any way.

Ive been single for over a year now. Ive dated a bit, but nothing that really goes anywhere. Right now, the dating scene is looking mightily bleak, but I am to the point of being turned off by dating the wrong type of men. I am not willing to date just anyone for the sake of dating.

The big problem is after a while I start to feel skin hunger. You know what that is. Its not even so much a sexual thing as a comfort issue. Holding hands. Cheeks touching. Spooning. I guess its the warmth of another human being.

How does everyone else handle this??? :think:

Well, gee. I am kind of shocked to hear this. Also, kind of shocked to hear this from a woman, with all the replies from women.

The only previous time I have heard the term "skin hunger" was from people who made their living as massage therapists. I have always thought of "skin hunger" as a condition women tried to deliberately create in men as a way of getting back at them.

Having said that, I would recommend two things. First, open your wallet and get a massage from a legitimate massage therapist. Second, participate in a twelve-step group or other group where hugging is the norm. (Watch the movie "Fight Club" if you don't understand what I am talking about; even Meatloaf, with tits, gets a hug.)

I have never refused any person, of either sex, a hug if they wanted one--with the exception of one person who deliberately refused to answer my e-mail. And yes, that includes gay males, even though I am not gay.

I am.... a cuddle slut. I'll admit it.

Currently I've been hanging about this boy, who I think is totally cool, but I'm pretty sure he doesn't like me like that but still, we jaunt about a while, go back to his apartment and talk and chill and cuddle a bit, and eventually i go home. I got a killer back rub last night :drool:

But that aside..

I guess when I don't have human affection, the cats tide me over until I do. Or I get mopey.

Great term! I'm a cuddle slut, too. :o And, thankfully, so are most of my friends. It makes being single much, much easier.

My beagle is super snuggly and curls up around me at night, and that does help some

veggrl,

I am a cuddle slut too...:yes:
I am not ashamed to admit that I am a really affectionate touchy feely girl,
but I won't date just anyone either, I would rather be alone, than date the 'wrong for me' guy...
But it does get lonely, we all need hugs, affection, and love...
Hope you find the right guy someday soon...
I think it's worth the wait...
Heck I am planning on waiting until I get married for the serious touchy feely game, and by that I mean sex...
Sometimes I feel I will end up a spinster, but then I think I still have some time...:D
Good Luck to you, and I'm always here for virtual hugs!

PM me, anytime...:)

I think the idea of getting involved in some activity like dancing or any exercise that involves a partner is a great idea. Also, why not volunteer somewhere where you can use your affection to help other people? You could work with children, they always have plenty of hugs! Or, a lot of hospitals will use volunteers to sit with and rock sick babies in the nursery. Preemies do much better when they have lots of human touch. You'd get a warm feeling from it and you'd be helping someone else.

I think you are wise not to rush into a less than ideal relationship just for the companionship. It will come with time...in the meantime, keep busy and help someone else!

sometimes i just need a hug. :hug:

We've had people come to our church just for the hugs and handshakes.

met someone staying at my friends house. my Skin Hunger has just risen into a higher state. im totaly diggin her :D. i've been wanting to feed my hunger for over a year ;( .

i agree that the swing dancing, partner exercise or movement, and/or volunteering, are great ideas for getting the sort of touch that you may need.

i also would recommend good yoga classes. Many teachers give assists in yoga--and these assists are very powerful. not only do they move the body, but as a teacher, we send warm, healing energy into the body.

my poor husband has to put up with me the most. after a good practice, i have a ton of energy eminating from my hands. they're very hot--even though my body temp is normal. Anyway, usually this goes on student's bodies--but even after a day of assisting 15 or so people, i still have lots "left over" so my husband gets it. anyway, it's another option. and also, generally speaking, nonsexual. (there are some turds out there.)

Zoebird, I always thought I was insane, but I have experienced that energy many a time in yoga. I began to take yoga classes this past summer (and now I can't live without it, it has become a very big deal in my life), and every time a teacher makes an adjustment to me I feel very strong and good. It's difficult to explain, but I always appreciate it when it happens. I was actually going to suggest yoga to everyone in this thread, but I didn't want to sound like a perv.

ETA: I'm generally not a very touchy feely person, but I've never felt uncomfortable in a yoga class because of the touching. It's very powerful and overcomes a lot of reticence anyone might have. Although, that doesn't sound like it would be a problem for anyone here. :)

oh WOW do I identify with all you guys. I haven't even so much as kissed a guy since somewhere around May, and that was with somebody too old for me and went too far and was just a nasty old mess, so I really haven't had any other-sex, not-just-friendly contact that I don't regret for probably a year and a half. And that SUCKS because I always crave physical closeness. I go to a totally uptight high school, so all of my guy friends look at me wierdly if I say I need a hug. Sigh.

On a brighter note, I just got an email from a TOTALLY hot british guy I met this summer :smitten: :D

~Mollie~

You know, I have some single male friends with good jobs that haven't gotten laid in a long time (think decade or never). I'm quite sure they are desperate enough to date veggies :notvegan: Heck, you could probably convert them if it meant getting lucky :whip:

Just fyi ;)

after reading some of these replys, i'd just like to say i would donate my body to satasfy some of the women on here. if you pay for airfare and/or gas money i'll help you with whatever sexual problem you might have at the moment. hell i'd even split the cost down the middle.

(think decade or never). I'm quite sure they are desperate enough to date veggies :notvegan:

Just fyi ;)


LOL! :)

after reading some of these replys, i'd just like to say i would donate my body to satasfy some of the women on here. if you pay for airfare and/or gas money i'll help you with whatever sexual problem you might have at the moment. hell i'd even split the cost down the middle.

Hehe, gee would ya make that big sacrifice? What happened to the girl you were diggin' a day and a half ago?

still diggin. but aint much goin down with that. shes leavin tomarrow ;/ , aint nothing happenin there....

The big problem is after a while I start to feel skin hunger. You know what that is. Its not even so much a sexual thing as a comfort issue. Holding hands. Cheeks touching. Spooning. I guess its the warmth of another human being.

How does everyone else handle this??? :think:
My problem is that it is very much a sexual thing for me.
The only person I like touching me is the person that I am intimate with.
About 5 years ago, I was single for a few months and it was absolute torture. Anytime I was near a man, I could feel the heat from his presence and just wanted to offer myself to it. If I was close enough to smell him, I'd begin wondering how he tasted. It was so bad that someone opening and closing a drawer would make me hungry!
I remember at one point asking one of the guys I worked with for help with my cell phone. It was a perfectly innocent request, especially since I'd never been attracted to him. But then I noticed his hands as he took it apart. I'd never noticed his hands before. They looked so strong and seemed so skillful. I started wondering about their movements and how they'd feel. As soon as he was done with the phone, I excused myself and got out of there. I don't think he had a clue.
I distracted myself with work. I had two jobs and asked both for as many hours as possible. I rarely had a day off.
Luckily, my cravings are not quite so bad these days.
Tim is gone so often, for so many months at a time that I pretty much consider myself as living alone. I write erotic poetry and short stories and just bought batteries (shhh! It's a secret), but it is not at all the same. I don't have much contact with other flesh and blood people while he is away, so when my desires peak, I am most often alone. Since Tim is in country these days, I sometimes call him for a late night "conversation". It helps for a moment, but then the wanting comes back and I am left to starve.
I can't tell you how often I've come to VB for a distraction. To be honest, that is why I'm on here now. :-/
:hungry:

I totally know how you guys all feel! I'm in a long-distance relationship right now, and a lot of my friends are studying abroad this semester, so I don't get a lot of touching.

It really is kind of like starving. I firmly believe that people need a certain amount of physical affection to thrive...I wish I could give y'all hugs!

I firmly believe that people need a certain amount of physical affection to thrive...

iirc this is a proven fact...I remember something with babies doing better when having skin contact with people.