Starting over - Need advice on living w/ a meat eater

[Trancic]

Hello everyone! It has been some time since I've been here. I gave up meat for a number of months... then I got pregnant and gave in to cravings. I regret my choices, but don't think it's worth dwelling on past mistakes (other than to learn from them, of course).

Now I'm getting back to a more positive lifestyle and I'm finding it difficult. My husband eats a lot of meat. A whole lot. He's made it clear that while he supports my decision to go vegetarian, it's not for him. Before I had my son I had the time and energy to meal plan and prepare meals that he can easily adapt for his carnivore lifestyle (he didn't make me prepare his meat). Now I just can't swing it. Our son is on a special diet for food sensitivities, so I already have to prepare 2 separate meals.

Are there any resources for vegetarians living with meat eaters? Transitional recipes? Anything to keep me from going crazy?

[rabid_child]

I live with a meat eater but he eats whatever I cook for dinner and does not eat meat at home, except the occasional can of soup or tuna. He knows I'm ethically opposed to meat, but he isn't ethically opposed to eating veg*n, so at home he eats veg*n. He says he's just lucky to have a delicious homecooked meal every night, and doesn't care about what is (or isn't) in it (as long as it isn't mushrooms).

[Trancic]

I live with a meat eater but he eats whatever I cook for dinner and does not eat meat at home, except the occasional can of soup or tuna. He knows I'm ethically opposed to meat, but he isn't ethically opposed to eating veg*n, so at home he eats veg*n. He says he's just lucky to have a delicious homecooked meal every night, and doesn't care about what is (or isn't) in it (as long as it isn't mushrooms).

Gosh I wish my husband felt the same way! He has a number of veg*n friends, so has grown to love a few veg dishes (falafals, stir fries, etc), but really loves meat. He also has a super high metabolism and thinks he needs meat for quick fat/protein (he's not big on nuts and so so on beans). He only eats 2 meals a day, and lunch is often the previous night's dinner. If he doesn't get meat for dinner, he probably won't get it at all.

[penny79]

If he doesn't get meat for dinner, he probably won't get it at all.

That's great. :)

But if he wants it, I'm sure he can procure it on his own.

[penny79]

Congrats on going veg! :hi:

[beachbubbles]

My husband is an omni too. He actually used to eat a lot of meat but I've been a good influence I think :p and he now realizes that veg*n dinners can be yummy and satisfying. He was a big meat eater too so maybe your hubby will come around over time. My husband eats what I cook and if he wants meat he throws something on the grill for himself.

[AddieB]

My husband is an omni too. He actually used to eat a lot of meat but I've been a good influence I think :p and he now realizes that veg*n dinners can be yummy and satisfying. He was a big meat eater too so maybe your hubby will come around over time. My husband eats what I cook and if he wants meat he throws something on the grill for himself.

This is how my fiance was. Over the past few years he's figured out that what I cook almost always tastes good, not matter what "weird" ingredients are in it. He now eats everything up. The only meat we keep in the house regularly is non veggie soups and canned fish. When I first went veggie he used to buy meat fairly often, cook it, and add it to whatever I made. Now he only does that a few times a year. He saves eating meat for when we are not at home...

[Semicharmed]

I'm moving in with my boyfriend soon... He's a BIG meat eater. I've been experimenting with the cooking stuff while I stay at my father's house during the stupid transition from school to living elsewhere phase. (School took me forever since I had to take months off at a time to work to afford it.)

What I've found is there are plenty of foods that the omnivores will eat and enjoy. They love my vegan lasagna rollups, pasta dishes, rice dishes, salads, vegan chili, vegan pizza, vegan burritos, etc.

If they WANT to add meat for some reason to a meal? They can, and I will even cook it (separate, of course). Or if they are sick and ask for chicken noodle soup? Well. I make it. Cooking is what I'm in charge of, but I don't do it as a dictator. While the boys are ALL more than happy to grill most of the time, sometimes that's just not practical if they're been working all day or something. And there are plenty of things that are "their" job that I wouldn't want them doing as a dictator either. Home repairs, car maintenance, helping me hang curtains, etc. I'd end up with a pool table instead of a dining room table, a souped up car I don't want, and UFC curtains if they refused to do "their" jobs any way but their own way. So I don't refuse to cook any way but my way. I don't have the leverage! If I did absolutely everything and the meat-eaters in my life never had to make compromises for me, I'd never make one for them. But, those would be pretty lousy relationships, I imagine.

So, basically, I prepare a meal I CAN eat and everyone else will/can eat, and if they request meat on the side, okay, fine. Most often, they won't - they're happy with the meals I cook. If they are desperately wanting a meal that involves meat IN the meal and there is no escaping that, I heat up something else for myself. Once a month or so, I do massive cooking and make homemade vegan frozen meals (of sorts) so that if I'm in a bind, I have homemade, cheap vegan food that is completely prepared and just needs to go in the oven - no prep work required.

[Mojie]

My husband's an omni, too. Like yours, he's supportive but completely uninterested in making the switch himself.

I know you said that you're already preparing separate meals, but the thing that's worked best for us is to make one base meal that I can eat as is or add tofu/seitan/faux meat to and he can add real meat to (if he feels like it). It's the same meal, just with different extras thrown in. If he's going to prepare his own meat, then you'd only have to brown/warm up some tofu or seitan or faux hamburger or whatever suits your recipe and add it after the rest of the base meal is ready to eat. :)

I'm sorry I'm not a huge help, but that's been the biggest time-saver for us. That and him eating veg*n every now and then (he loves meat, but he'll eat veg*n on occasion). Good luck and welcome back to veg*nism! :rockon:

[NZVeggie]

My bf was an omni when we started dating.... and he threw a hissy fit at the mention of me cooking vegetarian dinners for him. So I said he was welcome to cook his own meat and add it in. The was our compromise! It worked quite well for a while until he stopped cooking his own meat and started eating my dinners vegetarian :D. Now he has come over to the light and is a vegetarian!

So although your husband may never become a vegetarian I think with a bit of time you will be able to convince him to eat the odd vegetarian meal. And if he wants meat why can't he just cook it for himself? Alternatively if you don't have a problem handling meat you could always cook it on the side for him and let him add it to his own meal?

All in all the only way to find a happy middle ground is to discuss it with him and find a compromise (that still allows you to be vegetarian of course).

[jenni-anti-fur]

Hey There Congrats:)

My Fiancee is a meat eater....but he loves to cook and eat Veggie and that makes me really happy....he has tried and liked many different Veggies and is always looking up recipes that are Veg....he knows I wont buy or cook meat...he always says to me that I dont need to do that for him he will do it himself.....give it time feel it out....communicate it all works out:yes:....I know he will never be Veggie and thats Peachy Keane With Me....:up:

[ficbot]

I am not married myself, but I do have experience living with other people who have different dietary issues. I have some food allergies, and I never expect other people to accommodate me. I always am prepared to make my own if I can't/won't eat what is being served. Now, most people do tend to be pretty thoughtful and if it is something like Friday night dinner at my mom's, of course she will have food I can eat there. But I would *never* expect my loved ones to ban something just on my account. In fact my mom serves a bread every week at Friday night dinner that I can't eat and I just don't eat it :) There was one time she was having a special dinner and had to serve a special thing because of my aunt who was undergoing health issues and had certain needs. She called me ahead of time, said she was serving a main dish I could not eat and what did I want to do. She wound up making a pasta dish everyone else could eat, setting aside from plain pasta for me, and I brought my own can of lentil soup to dress it with.

Imho, part of living with other people is being respectful of their boundaries and being a good partner by looking after yourself as well as them. If he wants meat and he's the only one who plans to eat it, why can't he cook it himself? Unless he is an invalid, he has no excuse to be complaining about food someone else has graciously prepared for him. If he wants his own special meal above and beyond the family meal, he can make it himself :)

[Kiseki]

I think if he really wants meat, he can make it himself! Just make a veggie dinner for yourself. Keep separate pots and pans as well.

I'm not married or anything, but I live w/an omni roommate. It's gross sometimes though, because she's not good at doing dishes and I'd rather wash hers than get into an argument :(

[the_advocate]

All very good advice! Dinner in our household was always more or less communal. One night I cook, the other, hubby. Once I went veg, I still offered my help with the veggies and potatoes and what not, but put my foot down to cutting up pieces of dead animal. Only on special occasion, do I trim the dead animals. But anywho, set your stance. If you are already cooking two meals, that is more than enough tedious work. Try making a similar compromise, and tell him if he wants to eat dead animals that he needs to do the trimming and cooking! Once faced with that, I'm sure hubby will have no other choice but to oblige!

[mrsschu2u]

My husband and two kids are omnis with no interest in changing at this point. Since I'm the one who made the change, I cook in ways that we can all eat and be happy. Sometimes, that means we all eat veggie or that I take out my portion before adding any meat product. For the most part, my hubby saves the meat meals for nights that I am not home on time. It's really made us all more creative eaters.