I can't stop crying (feeling overwhelmed)

[One]

Hi everyone,

I'm making this post because I just don't know what to do. My family are saying I'm mentally ill... nobody around me understands what I'm going through.

I live in a world of meat eaters, I don't know one vegetarian or vegan in the real world. Nobody I know has any interest in animal welfare, and I feel so alone.

I am a Christian and I question God every day... why did you create this horrible place? I don't feel like there is any point to living on this Earth. All I see around me is evil and cruelty.

I cry all the time, I find it hard to sleep, and I find it hard to eat most of the time. I'm not eating much at all. I feel sick in my stomach. When I forget about the animals for a few moments, and it pops into my head again... my stomach churns and my heart sinks as if it's the first time I ever saw what they go through. It feels like the first time, every time.

I am vegetarian, planning on going vegan... but I feel like no matter what I do, it will never be enough. I'll never be able to make a big enough difference. I wish I was filthy rich and famous, just so that I could spend every cent I had on helping them (and people who are living terrible lives as well). I don't care about myself anymore... I don't care if I live or die. I hate this world. I'll never feel any peace until the animals are at peace, and they never will be.

Why are there so many people in this world who haven't even felt a glimpse of this feeling... this complete and utter love and respect for animals... yet here I am, crying every single day?

I wish I had my own santuary and enough money to support it. I feel like that will never happen, either. I also haven't found any that are anywhere near where I live either. I would move anywhere they needed me, but I have a husband and my pets.

How do you guys cope when you feel torn up inside? I feel too guilty to live, I feel ashamed of being a human. I have seen movies of how slaughterhouses work and things of that nature, and it is burnt into my mind. Some of those animals are so strong. I have seen a cow go through so much pain and lost so much blood, yet still trying to stand up 10 minutes later. They are so strong... they are so amazing... how can people do that to them? I have seen photos of cows and bulls in India, roaming around, lying on the beach. They get great happiness out of sitting on those beaches. I wish every animal could feel the sunlight and have all of the things they need to feel content. I don't understand how some people can look into an animal's eyes, and not see a part of themself. Not see a similarity. Not feel their pain...

I have to go to court in a couple of weeks because a guy spat on me while I was working in a restaurant. You know what I thought when the police called me about it today? I thought, how sick is it that I have several people working to give me justice, over being SPAT on... yet animals are legally murdered every single day, or innocent people are getting legally bombed by the military.

How do you handle it?

Thank you for reading...

[Skylark]

*hugs* I know it's hard. I'm a Christian, too, and I also have times when I am upset at God for not stepping in. What helps me usually is realizing that my tears and emotions, expressed solely in that way, don't do anything for the animals or the environment or anyone/thing else that's suffering. Can you channel your sadness and rage into something positive, like volunteering at an animal shelter? This world has so many problems that it's easy to feel overwhelmed. Try to remember the good societal changes that have happened, and how people like you and me helped to make it happen. It wasn't that long ago human slavery was legal in the US, and while human slavery is still commonplace in many countries around the world, it took a lot of average everyday people working very hard to change things in the US.

Can you make a list of the times people and animals have been kind to you? The times when someone has helped you out, said a gentle word to you, gave you a hug when you needed it? Focusing on the positive will go a long way toward being able to be positive with others. Seeing only the negative will drag you down, too.

PM me if you want to talk. :D

[Treehugger267]

Those thoughts can be overwhelming and very depressing. I think most of us have felt it, the trick is that you have to find some happiness. You are dwelling on only the negative side (and yes, there is a lot of it out there). Know that you are doing good by your own choices. You are saving animals by not choosing to eat them, that is a very good thing.

I get those hopeless feelings just like you have if I research too much or keep my head in the news too much. Honestly, there are even threads on here that I have to avoid, horror stories just stick w/ me. I posted a thread not to long ago asking if being a vegetarian was depressing, so many people shared their feelings and it made me feel that I wasn't alone. You've come to a good place for support, this group truly does understand.

((hugs))

[hoodedclawjen]

i think you might well be depressed. you're struggling to function, and you really need to talk to someone professional about what you can do to get back on solid ground. like PRONTO. i know its hard, but you can't carry on like this.

i do understand how overwhelming it feels to be absorbed in feelings and thoughts of sorrow, suffering and horror every day, but you need to do something to work through, redirect and change these thoughts and feelings, and learn how to cope with them, cos they will just drag you down to a very bad place, and aren't productive in themselves (apart from producing tears and more sorrow- for you- which isn't exactly ideal).

you're not alone with your emotions or struggles. a lot of people deal with depression every day- me included. its not something you can magically fix yourself. you need professional support and structure- perhaps medication to start with, perhaps just some therapy to help you work out how your feelings work, sort through them, and put positive changes in place to help you feel better. maybe both.

you're also not alone in your feelings and beleifs- there are lots of christian vegetarians about, both here, and all over the world. check out this group: http://www.all-creatures.org/cva/ . i can't answer religious questions really, cos i'm not a beleiver, but frankly, i think people are responsible for the horror around them, pure and simple, but most aren't as sensitive to it as you, and just don't think or know in their hearts and heads the reality of it. people screwed this stuff up, and people can fix it, a little bit at a time- nobody can fix it all themselves though (not even you- even if you had all the money and time in the world!), so don't put the weight of the world on your shoulders.

you don't need to, and can't, do everything, and take everything on, all by yourself. you're one person. be realistic! but don't forget that you can and do make a huge impact on the world in very small small ways every day all ready- by raising kind compassionate children, by not consuming or supporting the meat industry, by just being you, and doing what you do. have you worked out how many animals haven't lived or died in horrible ways, just because of you? maybe you should.

a whole bunch of little ripples can make big waves, so instead of focusing on the negatives, perhaps try and be proud of your part in things, and accept that you don't have a magic wand, and you're doing what you can. if you think you can do a little more when you're feeling better then great! leaving vegetarian receipes and info on bulletin boards, giving a few hours to a sanctuary, being an example of how being veg is easy and healthy and positive- if everyone did this kind of little thing, think how much we could acheive! :D

so yep- first step to making things better for animals- get yourself well. can't help them if you're in pieces, can you? :hug:

[Quinoa]

:hug: and what everyone else said. I am a Christian too, and I often feel that the contradictions and cruelty overload in this world can be so overwhelming! Remember that you are not alone; this place is just one evidence that there are many people who feel like you do and who are there to support each other and who try to make a difference. Stick around! :)

[Toast]

((Hugs))

I know what you mean and I think a lot of vegetarians and vegans feel the same way as you do. I would try and find a local veggie meet-up group. I don't know where you live but there must be someone else in your area that is veggie.

For me personally I would avoid reading very negative books and articles where they are descibing animal suffering. I try to do that as I would get frustrated if I kept torturing myself with horrible images.

[*Star*Lass*]

I'm not religious at all.... i've very much evolutionary in my beliefs! But i do have similar thoughts to you, such as all of the pain and suffering animals are going through every second of the day, people that get on with their lives without sparing a thought for them, and almost feeling ashamed to be human. It's a shame as i think human's have so much potential and there are lots of good things about us, but we have become so advanced that we have too much control over the world.... and there's so many of us! It's so easy to get your head stuck in a bad place (for people like us anyway). I do every once in a while, but just for short periods.

I think getting help for depression was good advice that's already been given. But in the meantime think about it like this...... the vast majority of what's happening is beyond your control. You have a husband that no doubt wants you to be happy, and overall, you have a good life, and only one life, so you should make the most of it. Doing that doesn't mean you've stopped caring, just that you've put a few other things first, such as having a happy life... because you deserve it! :)

[Jessss2008]

I am agnostic and believe in evolution but I truly understand how you feel. How can so many people not care.

I have lived on my own since I was 16 so I got a taste of the real world young. Looking at what people do not only to other people but to animals as well.

I remember going on a forum once (postsecretcommunity.com) and posting something about animal abuse and no one cared about what I had to say. No one listened and everyone said "I care more about humans than animals". I honestly would not want to live in a world without animals.

Humans are the most annoying, stupid, pathetic, cruel, power hungry, dirty, despicable animals on the planet and they think WE are more important. People kill people, animals and so on for their own sick pleasure. They are careless and cruel. While animals just want love, just like everyone does. Animals DON'T judge, they don't care if your ugly, homeless, they will still lick your face and play with you. Not to mention protect and help you.

One guy told me once, animals are not as smart as humans so they don't deserve to live here. He said, animals don't use the internet to communicate, animals don't know mathematics and so on......ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!

People amaze me with their stupidity and then turn around and say animals are the ones with the problems.

[be_the_change]

It's overwhelming. It's unfair. Just know that you, personally, are doing something to help end the injustice and cruelty. You will come to realize that you of all people will be able to sleep peacefully at night (maybe not now, but in the future) because you are doing the kindest thing. It IS enough. It is NOT inadeqate. One, as a vegetarian you were doing more. As a vegan, you'll be doing even more. Every little bit helps; every step in the direction of a plant-based, cruelty-free diet is helpful... It's not possible to be a perfect vegan, so don't berate yourself for what can't be helped. Unless you're in a unique situation, you will need a car to get from point A to point B. In many ways, cars (and other everyday things) are so not vegan, but you know what? It's not your fault. You have decreased the amount of cruelty and hate in your life to the maximum--and for that, you should be proud of yourself.

Sleep well knowing you have shown kindness to the fullest extent humanly possible. I'm not religious at all, but I believe that you will be rewarded.

:smitten:

[peace]

i think you might well be depressed. you're struggling to function, and you really need to talk to someone professional about what you can do to get back on solid ground. like PRONTO. i know its hard, but you can't carry on like this.

Agreed. Talk to your doctor. I consider it one of the best decisions I've made. You will get a lot of support here by way of depression, too. Remember--you cannot help animals if you're struggling just to function each day.

[beachbubbles]

Most everything I am thinking has been said but I am sending hugs and I do understand how you feel. It can feel so heart wrenching and overwhelming. I think right now you need to think about yourself first. Finding a doctor you can trust can go a long way toward helping you become a strong, happier person who will be in a place to do what she wants to do- make a bigger difference. Have you read One Can Make a Difference by Ingrid Newkirk? It gave me a lot of motivation and hope.

I am not in anyway qualified to throw around medical diagnosis but if you were suffering from something like clinical depression that would be making a HUGE difference in how you are seeing the world and your power in it. Once you are able to get yourself in a better, stronger place mentally, you seem like exactly the type of person who will make a big difference. For example, you mentioned wishing you could start a sanctuary. You can! I know it seems impossible right now but it isn't. You can find a way to do anything you want- just take care of yourself first so that you are able to.

[GingerFoxx]

We all need to recognize we only have the power to do so much. Even the smallest things can make a difference. Folks on this board have chosen to make their mark with a veg*n lifestyle. Together, our efforts are a very powerful force indeed. May people on the board have led by example and influenced friends and family to make the change for the better as well. Don't put so much pressure on yourself. Focus on what is within your power. The rest will follow.

[Tom]

We're here for you. :hug:

[happyherbivore]

one - i hope you are feeling better! i know exactly how you feel because i go there sometimes. as hard as it is to accept, everything is happening as it should. in order to know bliss, one must feel pain and suffering. i know the suffering is too much to bear at times but remember that there are also wonderful things happening in this world. just think of how many people are moving towards a cruelty free lifestyle!

your thoughts create your reality, so do your best to focus on the positive. remember that you are making a big difference with your diet. i heard a statistic that vegetarians save about 100 animals a year. i would be happy knowing i saved one life, but even better that we're saving more!

as difficult as it may be, try to surround yourself with positivity. read an uplifting book. maybe you can adopt a pet? share your favorite veg dish with some friends. do the things you love to do and be grateful to be alive to experience all this world has to offer.

i heard someone ask a yogi, how can i see god? he responded feed people. serve people. maybe you can find a way to redirect your energy - start a blog to share recipes and info, raise money to send to a sanctuary, volunteer at a shelter, volunteer at a soup kitchen, visit a nursing home, become a big sister, etc. every act of kindness makes a difference.

i have started learning how to meditate. the focus is on positive thinking. it has really helped me. if you are interested you can learn more about the method i am following here - http://www.bkwsu.org/whatwedo/meditation

be happy, one. i am sending you love and joy. (and it's 1:11!) :)

[KHADIJAH]

I am muslim and I feel excally the same way you do, As soon as I say Im vegetarian, I get the are you crazzy look. Try and seek some help for the way you are feeling because as the post above said you cant help the animals if you are not well. Just remember we are care for you here and support you and if you every need to talk drop me a message and Id be happy to talk.:lovesign::hug:

[mcpacker]

One person can change the world. Evaluate your mind in relation to depression. See a professional about it. It creeps up on you and that is why most people do not see it taking hold in themselves. I deal with mental illness on a daily basis.

happyherbivore's suggestion of meditating is good. Still your mind and truth becomes apparent.

There is much darkness in the world but people like you shine like a beacon of light. In a dark room one single candle profoundly changes the nature of that room.

[lindamarie927]

I understand exactly what you are feeling; I have the same feelings myself, only I have to block them out a bit in order to function. I have cried myself to sleep. It is just heart-wrenching to know the horror and pain millions of animals are living in every day. It hurts. BUT like everyone else has said, in order to make a difference, you have to be okay. Here's what I do: First, I try to light a candle each morning for the animals. Then, I get brochures from Vegan Outreach ( veganoutreach.com. They will send them free if you can't pay, after your first order.). I put these brochures in health food stores etc. wherever I feel people will be receptive to them. I have passed out leaflets at a college. THINK: If you reach even ONE person, who reaches one or more people, YOU WILL MAKE A DIFFERENCE!! Listen to the Podcast "Vegetarian Food for Thought" by Colleen Patrick-Goudreau. She is wonderful and gives so much important information about vegetarianism and she gave me the voice I needed to talk about my truth. Also, going vegan might help you feel better, it did me.