i have been chatting online to a friend of mine in OK. she is clinically depressed and on meds. some things happened during the night and this morning that seem to have put her over the edge and she is actively planning her suicide as we chat. she claims to have the pills she needs (tyelenol with codiene and something called "amitryptiline") and she is planning to overdose with them tonight, when he ex' comes over to use her computer. she is waiting until then because she has a young son who she doesn't want to be left alone when she dies. i have been chatting with her for almost two hours now, and have asked her, gently, if she has considered calling a crisis line or emailing a counsellor anonymously. she says that that will not fix anything, and that she just needs to "go".

i am at a complete loss! i don't know how to stop this from happening! i only have her cell phone number and i can't really afford to phone her long distance. if i had her address or new her last name i might be able to get in touch with someone in her city who could check on her, but i don't.

what do i do?

i have been chatting online to a friend of mine in OK. she is clinically depressed and on meds. some things happened during the night and this morning that seem to have put her over the edge and she is actively planning her suicide as we chat. she claims to have the pills she needs (tyelenol with codiene and something called "amitryptiline") and she is planning to overdose with them tonight, when he ex' comes over to use her computer. she is waiting until then because she has a young son who she doesn't want to be left alone when she dies. i have been chatting with her for almost two hours now, and have asked her, gently, if she has considered calling a crisis line or emailing a counsellor anonymously. she says that that will not fix anything, and that she just needs to "go".

i am at a complete loss! i don't know how to stop this from happening! i only have her cell phone number and i can't really afford to phone her long distance. if i had her address or new her last name i might be able to get in touch with someone in her city who could check on her, but i don't.

what do i do?


Whatever you do keep talking to her. Talk about anything the weather, the news anything to keep her occupied. Is there anyway to contact her ex that's coming over tonight? I would seek out his handle if possible and tell him.

Man this is scary, I'll keep her in my prayers.

Try looking up her cell phone number here (http://www.reversephonedirectory.com/) under Reverse Cell Phone Number Look Ups. I believe that one is free. Maybe you can get more info on her that way.

I'm not sure really what to tell you.

Do you have an Instant Messager ID for her? Maybe when the friend comes over today you can I/M him to clue him in. It may be a breach of her confidence, but you'll be saving her life.

crap. she just told me that she was going to fix her son a snack, and be right back, but that was 25 minutes ago and she's still not back.

thanks for that link, ruthie, i looked it up and it returned no results.

dammit, i'm really worried here.

oh no...has she ever mentioned where she works (if she does) or anything like that where you could maybe get someone else to get help to her?

look up any suicide prevention places in OK...maybe they can get someone to come over to her house...if you know the address, etc.

i'm not much help...

i hope that your friend can work this out with your help :)

sigh...she's back online now...

she works from home (medical transcriptionist)

i don't know her address. just her cell phone number. i don't even know her last name.

How could she possibly bear to leave her son without a mother? Does she have any idea what that will do to him? She seems to care for his welfare. If nothing else, she needs to keep that in mind.

epski, she is convinced that she is doing more damage to him by being in his life as a depressive, than she would do to him by killing herself.

i don't know how to stop this from happening! i only have her cell phone number and i can't really afford to phone her long distance. if i had her address or new her last name i might be able to get in touch with someone in her city who could check on her, but i don't.

what do i do?

It's been a bit at this point -- is she still there? Like the others said, keep talking, keep encouraging her to call the help lines, etc. You said you have her cell phone number? If you really can't afford to call her even in a life or death situation, I'll pay your whole phone bill. Serious. I think she needs to talk to someone and apparently she feels comfortable talking to you.

she's still there, yes. she is saying things like, "no one can help me. my psychiatrist can't help me, counsellors can't help me, i've done all that before. it's not use. i'm hopeless. i'm worthless."

Another thought -- could you call one of the crisis hotlines and ask them what to say? Or ask them to call her cell phone?

She sounds like my mom did when she was suicidal. :( And she thought we'd be better off without her, too (wrong!). I wish I knew what to tell you.

get this - i called the crisis line in OK to get advice, and their lines were all busy. i left a message asking them to call me back and they haven't. it was 90 minutes ago.

i tried the national suicide line in the states 1 800 SUICIDE, but they don't accept calls from canada....

get this - i called the crisis line in OK to get advice, and their lines were all busy. i left a message asking them to call me back and they haven't. it was 90 minutes ago.

i tried the national suicide line in the states 1 800 SUICIDE, but they don't accept calls from canada....

I'll call the school nurse and see if there's another hotline. Hold on.

thank you, mskedi

Ugh. She's not answering her phone. I'll walk down there. Be back in a sec.

Ugh. This *would* be flu shot day.

Other from the national #, the only one I got was the LA County one. (310)391-1253. I know, long distance.

I can call, give the situation, and tell you what they say if you want.

Does she excersise? Maybe you could get her to go out an run for a bit (running fast may get some of these furious thoughts worked out), getting out of the apartment and getting her blood flowing, getting her mind on other things in the neighborhood might help a bit--at least get her away from the pills. (but I guess there's no telling if she'll walk in front of a bus...)

Wow. Well, I went to school with someone who's Dad killed himself by sitting in the garage with the engine running. He did it for the life insurance money of $10K, because he was laid off and couldn't support his family. Needless to say, his kids were destroyed over it. He thought they'd be better off without him, but he was wrong.

I'm not sure what to say...what a crisis situation. Her son will definietly be torn up over her death. He'll think it's something *he* did wrong to make it happen....

Do you know what city she lives in? If not, is her IP address visible to you? You can at least find her city with this. Go to http://cello.cs.uiuc.edu/cgi-bin/slamm/ip2ll/ or do a search on "ip address" to find more web pages.

Once you know her city, look up psychiatrists and medical transcriptionist services in the online yellow pages. Call every medical transcription service you can find and call a couple of psychiatrists to report the problem. They cannot talk to you about her or even say if she is their client but they CAN LISTEN to you!!!! Give them all the info you have. Since she is in medical transcription, one of them very likely knows her. If not, at least they can call the transcription service to find her. Call the police and suicide prevention lines also. Get every bit of help you can.

Be prepared to never hear from her again. But, realize that losing her friendship is a small price to pay for her son to have his mom.

Good luck!

this is unbelievable! i tried calling OUR local crisis line here in vancouver and i had to leave a message!

mskedi, if you could do that, i would be so grateful. i feel like she's now trying to subtely let me go from chatting, but i'm scared to lose contact with her.

I'm on the phone right now...


She says to remember that depression is not permanent and she shouldn't seek a permanent solution to a temporary problem.

Depression is treatable, and if couseling hasn't helped in the past she should try another.


If she commits suicide, the chances that her son will commit suicide is greatly increased, so he will obviously not be better off without her.

She shouldn't make a decision like this while she's in a depressed state, because decisions aren't clear.

Remind her she's not alone.

Remind her about the helplines (I'm on 1-800-SUICIDE).

More...

There's obviously a part of her that doesn't want to die, or else she wouldn't be talking to you. Try talking about reasons she would want to stay around.

Try and have her look at www.suicidepreventioncenter.org

Remind her that trying to overdose on pills often doesn't work and ends up with organ damage, hospitalization, etc.

She says to keep focusing on her son.

She also says, for you, that you should know that you're not responsible for keeping her alive, but that all you do is appreciated. Ultimately it is her decision.

(that sounds so sad!)

thank you thank you i'm trying to get all this in without sounding like i'm reading from a script