My mum thinks im crazy of being vegetarian

[Elva]

Hi everyone, im new here. It was very difficult to get emotional support from my mum when I became vegetarian last year. Each time when we spent time together, I had to pretend that I do eat meat, otherwise, she would think that im crazy, eventually, I gave up being a vegetarian. Now we live in different countries. I decided to become a vegetarian again a month ago, when spoke to her on the phone, she said that im not allowed to become vegetarian, and saying things like it will make me stupid and sick, also she made bad comments on buddhism...etc. I was very disappointed with her reaction. Despite that, I still firmly believe in vegetarianism and the benefits from it, I pratice yoga and pilates on a regular basis...maybe one day, she will change her mind, maybe she will never.

[Kellye]

How old are you?

If you're an adult, it's your decision to eat however you'd like. *shrug*

I couldn't be a vegetarian in the house I grew up in. I am now that I buy and prepare my own food. It's really that simple. :up:

[Elva]

I am an adult, I know that I can make my own decision when it comes to food...etc. But it sux when my mum constantly emotional blackmails me, she always got me to believe what she believes in since a very young age. Perhaps I will never have the chance to share a dinner table with her any more. I am no longer willing to argue with her. It's a shame that she does not understand the benefits of vegetarianism. :-(

[Koehnae]

The best thing you can do is to continue to live your life in your own way. Eat a healthy vegetarian diet. Continue with yoga and pilates. In the end, just seeing a happy, healthy you should be enough to prove that being vegetarian has not made you crazy or unhealthy.

[Kellye]

I am an adult, I know that I can make my own decision when it comes to food...etc. But it sux when my mum constantly emotional blackmails me, she always got me to believe what she believes in since a very young age.

I understand where you're coming from.


Perhaps I will never have the chance to share a dinner table with her any more.

This would be a mistake, and reinforce her belief that vegetarians are unreasonable and increase her resentment towards your lifestyle. I would be respectful in telling her my decision to go vegetarian, but firm. Maybe even bring up that you are a no longer a child and have the right to decide what you will and will not eat. Offer to cook her dinner, give her literature about the advantages of vegetarianism (without coming off as preachy) and eventually, when she sees that you are still the same daughter you had before, she will loosen up about it.


I am no longer willing to argue with her. It's a shame that she does not understand the benefits of vegetarianism. :-(

She's an adult too, and entitled to her opinion. Just don't argue with her about it. When she starts in, say, "I don't eat meat, and I've told you why. That's it." And the argument is over. Do not get drawn into convoluted debates over your decision.

That's my advice, anyway.

[Kyo]

Elva; welcome to this forum.
I think it's good that you found this forum because you can get support here.
I suppose your mom means well and doesn't know better. If she sees that you are vegetarian for long time and are healthy maybe she will eventually change her mind. Even if she doesn't you have to live your own live and you must make your own decisions.

Your mom said derogatory things about Buddhism. Did you become a Buddhist?

[Elva]

Thanks for your advice Earthwhispers, Kellye and Kyo. I am so glad that I have found this place where I can share my thoughts with everyone.



Your mom said derogatory things about Buddhism. Did you become a Buddhist?

I didn't become a buddhist, but I have been studying buddhism for a while now, found it's a great way to calm me down and get new perspective of life in general.

[Sam Dude]

I think she's just scared of losing the daughter that used to have similar views to her.
Just calmly say that "I'm a vegetarian, and it would be nice if you could accept that".
Over time she'll grow to accept it.
I've been looking into Buddhism as well, I find it a great way to live my life.
:)

[ArtemisDea]

Have you tried combatting her with cold, hard facts? I think the best way to handle this is just be clam, reasonable, and counter everything she says with pure, hard science.

"You'll be sick and unhealthy."
"Actually, a 2002 study in the British Journal of Medicine reported that vegetarians were 40% more likely to lead healthy lives than meat eaters*" (complete bs, but you can find research)

"You'll never get enough protein"
"Actually, I eat a soy burger every say for lunch that contains 22 grams of protein, which is three more than the minimum daily amount. So, in one meal, I'm covered! Plus, I enjoy snacking on peanuts."

[Jessss2008]

I know what you mean. A lot of people eat meat in front of me. My roommate is so supportive though. She had some Salami in front of the the other day but thats it and when I told her its tempting she ate it in her room. She always is always like WHATS FOR SUPPER? She actually made us vegetarian spaghetti the other day. She is really good with it and its SO nice. (She does test me though by offering an iced capp from Tim Hortons the odd time to see what I will say, but I always say no :))

My parents though, they CONSTANTLY ask me if I want a chicken nugget, or a hamburger or this or that or this....NO! When I say "No, I don't eat meat, remember" they say "well that sucks."

Just stay strong. Parents won't ALWAYS agree with what you will do. But if it makes you feel as good as it makes me feel and you are happy doing it then keep up the good work. Just try not to talk about it to much with her. She will respect you eventually, right now she probably thinks its just a phase...

[jenni-anti-fur]

The best thing you can do is to continue to live your life in your own way. Eat a healthy vegetarian diet. Continue with yoga and pilates. In the end, just seeing a happy, healthy you should be enough to prove that being vegetarian has not made you crazy or unhealthy.

exactly:)

[Mike H]

Your parents have no control over what you put in your body after your 18'th birthday unless you live under their roof (and cannot purchase your own food.)

I guess my family is a little different. When I told them I was a Vegetarian, they all got a good chuckle and said "good luck."

[Elva]

Have you tried combatting her with cold, hard facts? I think the best way to handle this is just be clam, reasonable, and counter everything she says with pure, hard science.

I have been thinking of sending her an email the other day, telling her all the statistical facts. One of the greatest benefit for me of being a vegetarian is that my skin is so much better than before, it's smooth and glowing. She will definitely notice the difference when I go back home next time:-) Hopefully she will accept the fact that I won't eat meat any more.

[Elva]

I know what you mean. A lot of people eat meat in front of me. My roommate is so supportive though. She had some Salami in front of the the other day but thats it and when I told her its tempting she ate it in her room. She always is always like WHATS FOR SUPPER? She actually made us vegetarian spaghetti the other day. She is really good with it and its SO nice. (She does test me though by offering an iced capp from Tim Hortons the odd time to see what I will say, but I always say no :))

My parents though, they CONSTANTLY ask me if I want a chicken nugget, or a hamburger or this or that or this....NO! When I say "No, I don't eat meat, remember" they say "well that sucks."

Just stay strong. Parents won't ALWAYS agree with what you will do. But if it makes you feel as good as it makes me feel and you are happy doing it then keep up the good work. Just try not to talk about it to much with her. She will respect you eventually, right now she probably thinks its just a phase...

Nice roomate you have got! When I was living with my mum, she loved cooking with animal fat :-( and telling me how good it is. I never liked animal fat that much, it actually made me vommit when I was younger. I am living with my boyfriend now, he eats everything, but he respects that im a vegetarian. Sometimes, I cook meat dishes for him, but I try to get him to eat my stuff as well, he actually thinks it tastes nice. Hopefully one day, he will become a vegetarian :-)

[Smokey Toes]

Why did you become a vegetarian? I'm sure you've already told your Mom why, but just stick to the reason. Unfortunately, as you've noticed, this can be tricky since many take immediate offense to the idea. Like ArtemisDea said, stick to the facts. If you turned for mainly health reasons, there is a lot to help you out. If you turned for animal cruelty reasons, be careful how you word it. Saying, "Killing animals is wrong and cruel." while true will only cause more waves. In short, you need to be "political" and tread lightly.

When someone asks me why I'm a vegetarian I usually respond with a wink, "Why do you eat meat?" 90% of the time the response is "because it taste good." (I think this is because most folk don't think about why they eat meat, it's just currently "written into the social contract" if you will ... but that's for another thread :) ) I try to keep it playful and agree that of course some meat dishes taste good but "For me that's not a good enough reason. Given the choice between killing for food and not killing for food, I choose not to kill." I just want to emphasize, don't be abrasive even if she is. The key to dealing with abrasive people on the topic is to not be abrasive back.

Ok, one last thing and I'll shut up. Do not present too much information. You will spread yourself thin. If she brings up a particular topic and you are informed and comfortable to talk about that topic, awesome. But if you start giving many reasons at once you will sound preachy. Pick your top reason and stick with it as your main reason. I've been a veggie for ~8 or 9 years now and I find this method works best for me. Good luck :)

[UUVeggieWoman!]

Is your mom extremely concerned about you (due to ignorance about how humans can live a natural herbivorous diet) or a very conservative Christian? If it is the former, get her information and agree to have frequent blood tests to prove you are in healthy condition. If it's the latter, explain your take on Christianity vs vegetarianism to her and stand up for your beliefs. Stay strong. My dad was concerned in the beginning, but now is a partial-veggie.

Did you know St. Paul was a vegetarian? Jesus is rumored to be, as well. The main reason St. Paul condemned non-meat eating in the Bible was to spread Judaism religion to people like the Romans, who were heavy meat-eaters and would not have wanted to give up this in the means of religion. In this, he told them that rules such as not eating shellfish or pork were not important rules and thus you have a vegetarian who advocated meat-eating in the Bible in the name of spreading this religion.

[KHADIJAH]

Well since you are an adult and dont live with her you can make your own decisions.
Hopely she will come around one day.

[Elva]

Why did you become a vegetarian? I'm sure you've already told your Mom why, but just stick to the reason. Unfortunately, as you've noticed, this can be tricky since many take immediate offense to the idea. Like ArtemisDea said, stick to the facts. If you turned for mainly health reasons, there is a lot to help you out. If you turned for animal cruelty reasons, be careful how you word it. Saying, "Killing animals is wrong and cruel." while true will only cause more waves. In short, you need to be "political" and tread lightly.

When someone asks me why I'm a vegetarian I usually respond with a wink, "Why do you eat meat?" 90% of the time the response is "because it taste good." (I think this is because most folk don't think about why they eat meat, it's just currently "written into the social contract" if you will ... but that's for another thread :) ) I try to keep it playful and agree that of course some meat dishes taste good but "For me that's not a good enough reason. Given the choice between killing for food and not killing for food, I choose not to kill." I just want to emphasize, don't be abrasive even if she is. The key to dealing with abrasive people on the topic is to not be abrasive back.

Ok, one last thing and I'll shut up. Do not present too much information. You will spread yourself thin. If she brings up a particular topic and you are informed and comfortable to talk about that topic, awesome. But if you start giving many reasons at once you will sound preachy. Pick your top reason and stick with it as your main reason. I've been a veggie for ~8 or 9 years now and I find this method works best for me. Good luck :)

Thanks for your helpful advice, Smokey Toes, really appreciate that :-)

[Elva]

Is your mom extremely concerned about you (due to ignorance about how humans can live a natural herbivorous diet) or a very conservative Christian? If it is the former, get her information and agree to have frequent blood tests to prove you are in healthy condition. If it's the latter, explain your take on Christianity vs vegetarianism to her and stand up for your beliefs. Stay strong. My dad was concerned in the beginning, but now is a partial-veggie.

Did you know St. Paul was a vegetarian? Jesus is rumored to be, as well. The main reason St. Paul condemned non-meat eating in the Bible was to spread Judaism religion to people like the Romans, who were heavy meat-eaters and would not have wanted to give up this in the means of religion. In this, he told them that rules such as not eating shellfish or pork were not important rules and thus you have a vegetarian who advocated meat-eating in the Bible in the name of spreading this religion.

My mum is a very conservative Christian. I actually heard the rumore about Jesus being vegetarian too. That made it very interesting :-)

[veggiesaurusrex]

I went through something similar. When I decided to become a vegetarian as a teenager, my Dad was very supportive and bought me books on it and even bought me vegetarian meals. My Mom on the otherhand tried relentlessly to trick me into eating meat. I think she was just concerned and realized I wasn't her little baby anymore. I just stuck with it and firmly told her I didn't appreciate it and explained how strongly I felt about it. She eventually backed off and respected my stance.
I don't necessarily think you should just throw a bunch of statistics at her like another has mentioned, it's like with people who smoke, they are not likely to quit unless they really want to and telling them they are going to die doesn't go over well. I instead have a more passive role with my friends and family telling them that if they ever have questions or want to try a vegetarian dish or diet that I will support them or answer any questions they have. Think about PETA, when you are militant about something it puts people off and makes them less likely to hear you.

[Elva]

I went through something similar. When I decided to become a vegetarian as a teenager, my Dad was very supportive and bought me books on it and even bought me vegetarian meals. My Mom on the otherhand tried relentlessly to trick me into eating meat. I think she was just concerned and realized I wasn't her little baby anymore. I just stuck with it and firmly told her I didn't appreciate it and explained how strongly I felt about it. She eventually backed off and respected my stance.
I don't necessarily think you should just throw a bunch of statistics at her like another has mentioned, it's like with people who smoke, they are not likely to quit unless they really want to and telling them they are going to die doesn't go over well. I instead have a more passive role with my friends and family telling them that if they ever have questions or want to try a vegetarian dish or diet that I will support them or answer any questions they have. Think about PETA, when you are militant about something it puts people off and makes them less likely to hear you.


Thanks for the advice veggiesaurusrex