Are there any other women here that have chosen not to have children? I'm 29 years old and have never really had that yearning for a child. I would much rather adopt another animal than raise a child. Is that weird?

It's not that I don't like children. I have two stepsons, after all. I just don't feel the need to have a child. When I see a baby, I do want to hold them and cuddle them, but I don't get that "awww, I want one" feeling.

Maybe things will change, but I've been this way since I can remember. I'm just getting a bit tired of people asking me when I'm going to get pregnant. It's really none of their business in the first place, then they look at me like there's something wrong with me when I tell them I don't think I'm going to have one, ever. *sigh*

There's something wrong with them for thinking there's something wrong with you. If they want someone to be pregnant so badly they should go and do it themselves. Am I right or am I right?

I guess I could be wrong though, what with being a man and all.

rigmarole

Congratulations on knowing what is best for you. There's too much pressure for all women to have children. Motherhood is not for everyone and it takes a lot of courage to decide not to have children for the sake of having children. Enjoy your life. When people ask, tell them it's your choice.

Next time they ask you when you are going to get pregnant, ask them when they are going to get a facelift. (or some other inappropriate question) Thank goodness nobody has been bugging me about that. However, my friend who is engaged is always bugging me if I've been trying to meet men.

Man, it's a wonder that I'm alive after all I've been through. I've tried motherhood twice. I've lost two kids, and I'm only twenty-two. I may never have kids. When I told my family that, they, basically, laughed at me. It's what we're supposed to do: get married, have kids, pay total strangers to raise them and wonder where we went wrong. Yet, I've taken a different path than most people, thus far, and everybody who knows me knows that I'm all suprises. I don't know what to say. You can either get touchy about it, or you can ignore it. Ignoring it may seem like the best course of action, but it may never end. I must agree with Thalia: go for a comeback with plenty of shock value. Good job asserting your life choices, but, at least for now, avoid permanent birth control (tube-tying). You may have a change of heart later.

I know some people who were told that they couldn't have children. Everyone kept asking when they were going to and I know it made them feel bad. :-/ Since then they've had one and another on the way! :) Plus I know women hate it when people say "You'll change your mind."

I am 36, married and have no intention of having children.
My husband is fine with my decision, he has a son from a previous relationship.
my family USED to bug me ALOT about it but now threy've given up.
My co-workers on the other hand still don't get it.
I've been called selfish for not wanting children, i've been told i obviously don't like kids etc etc.

I have NEVER thought about having kids, EVER, not when i was younger, NEVER.
I LOVE playing with other people's kids, and generally i do like kids, but i LOVE the fact that i can go home to peace and quiet whenever i want to when i've had enough.
I realize how difficult it is to raise children and i applaud all those who choose to take on the difficult task of raising another human being into this mixed up world, but it's just not for me.
I've put ALOT of thought into this and i'm SICK of people calling me selfish, since i think i'm NOT being selfish by having children just to please the status quo or other family members, or to hold on to my husband etc etc. There are MANY unwanted children out there who were unfortunately born for the wrong reasons and i refuse to do the same.
I know i know i'm raving on and on it's just i wish people would think before they speak, it's a personal issue, and it really isn't anybody's business.
The only advice i can give you is to stand your ground, just do what YOU feel is right for you, after all it is YOUR life to lead any way you want to.
Thanks for letting me vent.

i don't want children either, even if i can't have them :p, which is possibly the case.
being childless by choice is the opposite of selfish! sheesh, these people...

I'm childless by choice.

Though if the (potentially) SO would already have them I would accept that.

Another childless-by-choice here, too many Chinese already, Nah, just kidding :D

I made the decision when I was 5 and have never changed in the following 22 years, My hubby is a kid himself so he has no intention of having kids either. I would like to adopt when I get more mature. There are so many kids waiting for a family and can't have one----- with this in mind, if I want kids, I would choose to adopt existing ones rather than create a new one.

it is just flat out bad manners to ask blunt questions of people about their marital status or when they'll breed. yick.

I think I have had the decision made for me when I spent some time on the roof of a 22 story building in Sydney; as I started down the exit stairs I noticed the Radioactive equipment: exposure time of more than 10 minutes may cause sterility sign that I had not noticed on the way up.

I am childless by choice and really hope to stay that way. I say hope coz if I fell pregnant I doubt I'd get an abortion, and I would in all likelyhood keep the child. But seriously, I want to remain childless.

I'm 29 and have been married 12 years. I don't like or want kids. My husband feels differently, but he's known all along how I feel. I had a miscarriage at 16 before we married, and expressed my relief.

Not long after we were married, my f-i-l made a comment about when we'd have him some grandkids. Uh, first of all, can I finish high school? Second, I don't like kids. Third, having kids is not to provide you with grandkids. Geez.

Luckily they've stopped making comments. I'd get my tubes tied right now if I didn't think my husband would freak out.

I'm childless (but not by choice). It used to really do a mental job on me when women (with children of course) would ask if I had kids and upon hearing no would ask "why, don't you want to have children"? Then I would tell them I couldn't and blah blah blah. I know I didn't have to tell them, but I did because when I was way young, I thought I was a freak for not having them. Now, when somenone asks me, that doesn't know me of course, I answer "no, not really at this time." It's just much easier on me.

Kuddos to the women who know the don't want them and have to put up with a society that automatically assumes women want to become moms.

I'd get my tubes tied right now if I didn't think my husband would freak out.

Maybe he should have his tube tied, they say it's a much lighter thing for the man.

ETA: it takes two to "tango" so both have responsibility.....

Flower & Tofulina, I agree with you and I'm another childless by choice. 27 years old and never felt like having children. I never liked children and when I see them I try to be as far away from them as possible. (Though it sounds weird, children get near me even though I don't want them to).
I can't stand the idea of having children and I think it's not my obligation to have them.

Having children just because I have a vagina makes me sick. When asked when I'm going to be pregnant I simply answer "I don't like children". That keeps people silenced for a while and I assure you they feel so bad they never ask the question again.
OTOH, I think it's not good people have children "just because". How many people are really prepared to have children? How many people know what it's really like to be a parent? I think many people don't have the least idea until they have them, and then it's something you can't revert. Of course I also approve abortion. I'm wouldn't be a good mother, so children don't deserve me as a mother. Children are not my interest in life. And I also think this world is not a very good place to have my children if I ever wanted to.

Talk about selfishness here. Isn't it selfish to have children? Find the real reason. Tell me it's not a selfish one.

I also hate the fact people with children expect us to accept them. I hate when parents take their children to a restaurant and annoy child-free customers like me. Think of a 20 hour flight with a couple of children in the plane. Jesus. Isn't that selfish? :stinkeye:

http://www.childfree.com.au/

Plus I know women hate it when people say "You'll change your mind."
too right!!! (doesn't that hold for men too?)

people have said this to me all my freakin' life - you'll change your mind about make-up, boys, music, vegetarianism, animals, social justice, tidying your room etc etc etc. they did have a point about the boys i suppose, credit where it's due.

Flower, i have never had that gooey feeling about kids either. i don't quite understand why not. i think baby hands and feet are definitely cute, but on the whole, i'd rather be looking at kittens. i'm currently fending off the "i want to be a grandmother" line from my mum, and it's very annoying.

although i don't feel a huge drive to have kids of my own, i come from a large family and i kinda like the idea of creating that sort of little community. i think i am quite likely to adopt kids...eventually.

Blueapple: I totally agree with you that the reasons some people have children are selfish. A child can't fix a marriage. A child will not make you feel better about yourself if you don't already. A child is not a guarantee that you will have someone to look after you when you are old. Those are a lot of expectations to place on someone who isn't born yet. It's just not fair.
One of the best questions I've heard to ask yourself if you are ready for children is to think about it from the child's perspective and if the child would actually choose your family to live in.

I'm childless by choice! :) I just really really can't stand to be around children. They annoy the hell out of me. And I hate it when people assume that I should love kids just because I'm a woman.

My sister-in-law asked me to babysit for her alot when we lived near her. My hubby asked "why don't you ask me?" and she said "because she's more patient and tolerant with kids than you, because she's a woman." :stinkeye:

My hubby had a vasectomy (sp?) a couple years back, and we really had to convince the doctor that we were serious about not wanting children. I don't understand why it is so hard for people to believe.

Of course, when our families found out, they freaked. My mother is especially bad. She keeps reminding me that I can still have kids, if I find a new man. :wall:

I just don't want some stinky, whining, obnoxious, poop machine to force its way out of my poor little body, then spend the next 18 years or so leeching off of me. Is that so hard to understand? :p

:baby::whip:

too right!!! (doesn't that hold for men too?)

Yeah, it does.... I have been told that ("you'll change your mind") many times.

As far as I am concerned I want children for the wrong reasons, and I don't want children for the right reasons.

it is just flat out bad manners to ask blunt questions of people about their marital status or when they'll breed. yick. I agree. I have been worried about people asking me about my marital status in the future. My prepared response: "I agree with Mae West. Marriage is a wonderful institution, but I'm not ready for an institution." But I am very fortunate that no one in my family is a buttinski. My parents always tell me they don't care how I live my life, so long as I am happy. :)

Asking about children is even worse, especially women over 30, because maybe they have fertility problems, in which case the question is very hurtful.

I have NEVER had a desire to be pregnant and give birth. I love children, and I have a fabulous daughter (whom I did not give birth to - I used to be married to her father, who was a widower when I married him, and I've been her mom since she was 3 - she's 21 now, and I love her with all my heart), but that's as far as it goes for me. I fully support adoption and wish that more people considered it, but MY heart and soul are truly with the animals. Fortunately, I have a family that has respected my choices whether they've agreed with them or not, and other than a few polite inquiries, I've not been riddled by rude and insensitive remarks.

I think I have had the decision made for me when I spent some time on the roof of a 22 story building in Sydney; as I started down the exit stairs I noticed the Radioactive equipment: exposure time of more than 10 minutes may cause sterility sign that I had not noticed on the way up.

damn, yo, really? you ever get yourself checked out? radioavtive equipment can cause worse effects than just infertility...ie cancer. (not at all to be a jerk) seriously? Could be my american mentality of SUE EVERYONE, but it seems access to that roof should have been much more restricted, not just some dinky sign which is clearly easily overlooked. I would check with a lawyer if I were you and sue everyone.

I'm not joking at all

rigmarole

I just don't want some stinky, whining, obnoxious, poop machine to force its way out of my poor little body, then spend the next 18 years or so leeching off of me. Is that so hard to understand?

I couldn't agree more. Look at me for instance: I'm a 25 year old college sophmore still living at home without a job. Sure it's great for me but I wouldn't ever EVER want to be on my parents' side of this relationship. Granted I hate life and I truely think my parents owe me anything I want just for making the decision to have me, but that's besides the point...or is it the point? oh well

rigmarole