Hello!
My husband and I are vegans. We have been married for 10 years and wish to adopt. We recently experienced a failed attempt because the birthfather realized how much he loved his baby and couldn't let her go. I am grieving not only for the wonderful child I grew to love but also for the adoption situation. Her mother is vegetarian and wanted an open adoption. My husband and I would really like to find another similar situation to pursue. I hope someone here has some helpful advice in our search.

Thanks,
Vegcarrol

I'm sorry that things didn't go well for you, but I suppose there're are always ups and downs with the adoption process. Anyone who goes through it is one tough cookie in my book :).

When I was 17 I gave up my son for adoption. It was an open situation and all has worked out extremely well (he's in 8th grade now, I feel so old)!

The main problem that I ran into, and I must admit it disgusted me to no end, was the rampant racism I encountered in the system. My son is half Japanese, half Caucasian, and two couples I initially selected rejected my offer because they didn't want a child of mixed race. I couldn't believe it, here I am giving them my flesh and blood, and they supposedly are so desperate for a child, and they turn down a healthy baby because he's mixed?!

I guess my advice is to remain openminded to all possbilities, you never know what great things can unexpectedly happen.

Ultimately I found a great family that was vastly superior to the two I had initially selected. Everyone has been happy for many years now. It'll happen for you too.

Quizeen,

Thanks for your kind words. I am so glad that your adoption process has worked out well for you. Open adoption is really the best for all, especially the child.

We are open to possibilites. In fact, that was how we found our original situation. We were only researching adoption and hadn't made it to the homestudy stage. She was due in a little over a month but we felt this was the opportunity set aside just for us. In order to make this adoption happen, we had to do 6 months of work in three weeks and pay extra to expedite the homestudy. I have to believe that we felt so strongly about this adotion and paid the extra costs because we were supposed to. There must be a situation out there that we are destined to find. That is why I am asking everyone for their help. We never know whose life we are going to touch.

Thanks,
Carrol

My wife and I just adopted a 18 month old girl from China. We got her just a week ago. Everything is going quite well and she appears to be very healthy and is bonding with us. One nice thing about international adoptions is that the parents in the other country can't change their minds and get the child back, at least not that I know of.

I do agree with vegcarrol. There is a lot of racism. There is a lot of anti Chinese racism (or perhaps I should call it cultural bigotry) here in the US. That does trouble me because I want ny daughter to be proud of her heritage and it's culture. And that can affect her self image; so we will work very hard to instill pride in her.

Congratulations on your new daughter, Kyo!

Carrol, I am so sorry that this didn't work out for you. I am sure that you will find a child who will be a blessing to you, and you to her/him.

Quizeen, it is wonderful that you have been able to keep track of your son and know that he is thriving. It sounds as though he has been a fortunate child, both in his birth mother and in his adoptive parents.